Beautiful Disaster
by Z0mbiekitt3nsss
Summary: Zoey Anderson is a just broken girl. Students see her as weird, creepy, dark, but she has dealt with a lot of struggles, causing her to hide herself from the world-until she meets Riley Freeman, who takes her under his wing and changes her for the better.
1. Chapter 1

Riley -age 14, residing in Woodcrest

Huey -age 16, residing in Woodcrest

It was 7:35 am on a Monday morning. I stood in my room while in my boxers ironing my T-shirt with my toothbrush in my mouth. I turned around when I heard the door opened. It was Huey standing there looking at me annoyed with his book sack resting on one side of his shoulder.

I took my toothbrush out of my mouth to speak "Whatchu want nigga?" I asked frustrated.

"It's 7:46 and your ass still in your boxers, not dressed for school. Can you hurry the hell up please?"

I sighed of annoyance. "alright, chill nigga. I'll be down in 10 minutes"

After I brushed my teeth and got my shit together, I made my way down the stairs and saw Huey waiting at the door for me, looking pissed off as usual.

"It's about time" he said while making his way out the door. I ignored his remark and headed out. We got into Huey's car which was a used 2002 Toyota Camry he had saved up for. I sat in the car thinking to myself how boring class was going to be today, especially with the lame ass teachers we were assigned to. They were boring as fuck and I had only been in school for three months, but already wanted the school year to end.

We arrived at school around 8:20, but we couldn't go to class until we got our late slips from the office. I saw a skinny girl dressed in a long black dress with black combat boots. She had an olive skin tone and long cold black hair that hung down to her lower back. She was talking to the principal. I looked at Huey reading his book while sitting in the chair, waiting for the principal to assists us.

" Aye..Huey" I whispered towards him

He looked up at me as if he was annoyed that I disturbed him " ..what?"

"Don't that bitch in black look like she could be a cast member from that movie _The Ring_..you know, that girl who come out the TV?" I asked in a whisper.

" Nigga, you stupid" he said looking back down at his book. I laughed to myself at my own joke. When the principal was done talking to the student, the girl dressed in all black turned towards us, making her way towards the door. I got a better look at her. She had on a shit load of black eye shadow with eyeliner and mascara, but it did bring out her green eyes.

8 minutes later, we got our late slips and headed to class.

While I was in 6th period, I ignored my Art teacher by drawing some sketches in my notebook. Don't get me wrong, I loved art, but when it came to working on the definitions, I wasn't feeling it. I rather just get to the drawing and painting, working with the pastels and shit. 10 minutes later, I stopped drawing when I heard the door open, It was that girl again, the girl with the long black hair who was dressed in all black. The teacher smiled and welcomed her in.

"Hi Zoey, come on in" She said while bringing her towards the front center of the class. She looked a little nervous as she stood in front of us.

"Class, this is Zoey Anderson, She's a transfer student and I want you to make her feel welcome as possible—would you like to tell the class a little about yourself ?" The teacher asked.

The new girl nodded her head nervously "um-yeah..sure"

She was fidgeting with her hands as she spoke.

"Well, my name is Zoey of course. I'm 15 years old..a sophomore student and I love art. I feel like Art is a nice escape of reality"

After she introduced herself, she took a seat, which was only two seats behind me.

School was finally over for the day. I chilled on the couch playing the PS3 in the living room. It was 6:00 pm. Granddad didn't feel so well, so he stayed in bed all day and that nigga Huey was just reading as usual, so I had the TV all to myself. I stayed playing videos games for 3 hours straight until I saw Huey enter the room giving me one of his usual annoyed looks.

" You got a problem nigga?" I asked

"Did you do your homework yet?" he asked with his arms folded

I sighed and put the controller down. " Man, how many times I gotta fucking tell you, I do my homework in the morning at school nigga!"

He sighed and shook his head. " Look, you've been down here all day, now I want to watch the 9:00 news, so get your juvenile delinquent ass up before I make you get up"

I got up off the couch walking towards him- "Nigga, you ain't gon' do shit"

He looked at me silently, nodded his head and then turned around. "yeah, that's what I thought" I said in a low tone. Suddenly his leg quickly extended towards me, giving me a hard kick to the stomach. I fell two feet back and dropped to the floor in pain clinching onto my stomach. " You bitch ass nigga" I said still holding my stomach. He grabbed the remote and took a seat on the couch while putting his feet on the coffee table.

"That ain't hurt nigga" I said slowly getting up off the floor. I didn't feel like putting up a fight. I decided to give in and go in our room instead.

3 weeks later

While walking down the hall, making my way to my 3rd period class , I noticed the transfer student by her locker. She was getting her books out. She had dark purple lipstick on her lips, which were nice and full by the way. I can't even lie, this bitch was attractive ,but something was just weird about her and the clothes she was wearing made me realize how skinny she was. She wore a tight long sleeve black shirt with tight black pants and some black platforms boots. Her legs looked like toothpicks, but her pretty face made up for her lack of body. I walked passed her slowly, just to see what she was getting out of her locker. I saw her reach for a black book that had a circle with a star on the inside, it wasn't like a normal star though. My curiosity caused me to walk over to her locker. She gave me a look as if she didn't want me there. "Can I help you?" she asked annoyed.

"yea..I couldn't help but notice that black book in your hand with the little star thing on it-what is it?"

"You mean the Pentacle?" she asked

I gave her a confused look. "The what?"

"Don't worry about it. It's just something that represents my craft"

"Your craft?"

"Yes- my craft. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to my Algebra class" She said walking off. I continued watching her from behind. *She had a nice ass for a skinny bitch*

Around 12:30, I sat with my friends at lunch in the cafeteria. It was me, Huey, Jazmine, Leon, Cindy, and Clyde. Everything was quiet for a bit while we ate at the table, until Cindy broke the silence.

"Aye Riley..I saw you talking to that skinny bitch dressed in all black..what was that all about?" she asked while taking a fry from my tray. She was a greedy bitch.

"Why you worrying about who I talk to? We not together anymore- remember?"

"Yeah, I remember, but I wasn't the one who called it quits—now was I?"

Cindy and I always kind of liked each other and decided to date in the 7th grade. We broke up a month before I started my freshman year. Our personalities were very much alike and that's what caused the problem. Cindy was a very jealous bitch. She didn't take no shit, but I sure as hell didn't either. When it came to us fighting, she didn't back down and I didn't back down either. Our relationship was doing more damage than good, so I thought we were better off as friends.

"Wait, hold up..what girl y'all talking about?" Leon asked

" Some skinny gothic freak lookin bitch" Cindy said annoyed.

I ignored her response and responded to Leon. "It's just a girl in my Art class. You never seen her around?- I asked. Leon shook his head from side to side. I continued on about the new girl- "She's a transfer student..She wears a shit load of black clothes and has long black hair down to her back—kind of look like she could be a member of _The Addams Family_."

Leon, Huey, and Clyde looked around the cafeteria, seeing if they could spot her. I did as well, but she was no where to be found.

" You know I heard that bitch worships the devil" Cindy said quickly bringing our attention back to her.

"-and how do you know that?" I asked

"Cause bitches be talking Riley. That girl is an evil devil worshiper okay? Stay the hell away from that bitch" Cindy said in a low tone.

I was actually excited to be in this class today. It was my 6th period Art class and we were finally planning to do something other than reading books and writing definitions. Our teacher, Mrs. Abigail, was all smiles while explaining our upcoming project.

"Okay, so class, we're going to be working with chalk pastels. I want you to draw something that tells me a little about yourself. This will be a great way for the class to get to know more about each other, but here's the thing, you will be working in pairs- and before you even ask why, the reason is because this will also help you learn how to work with others, interacting with people you may not usually interact with is a great learning skill for the future-also you will mix two different concepts together on your pastel painting- there will be one concept for you and one concept for your partner. I want you to try and combine these two concepts together in one painting -Understand?"

I put my hand on my face while my elbow rested on the desk. I just thought to myself * This is some bullshit* - I hated being paired with others. Working with other people and taking orders from other people was NOT my thing. Mrs. Abigail already had paired us in groups. She walked down each row, handing students a small piece of paper that told us who we were paired with. I finally received mine and saw the names Riley freeman and Zoey Anderson together. I sighed looking back at her and thought to myself *Why I gotta be paired with weirdo bitch?*


	2. Chapter 2

Zoey Anderson POV- One Week Later

I laid in my bed in deep thought at 4:30 am. I couldn't sleep. My mind was too focused on school and how I was going to be working with that asshole tomorrow known as Riley Freeman. I couldn't believe out of all the classmates I could have been paired with, I get paired with this idiot who's dictionary only consists of the words: Nigga, ho, bitch, and motherfucker. That's pretty much all I hear when he talks in class. I didn't know how this was project was ever going to get done, especially if I our two opposite personalities were bound to collide.

I later on drifted off to sleep, but woke up around 6:00 am. I took a quick shower. Once I was finished, I grabbed my comb from my dresser to detangle my hair. I decided to walk towards the mirror, looking at my body in disgust.- "Why are you so ugly?" I asked myself in a low tone. I hated everything about myself. I hated my fat thighs and arms, the freckles on my face that were hidden with makeup, my huge disgusting lips, my green eyes which were dull and lifeless. I later on got dressed and wore a small black hoodie and a black skirt, which was mid thigh length. I decided to wear my black 4 inch platform boots with the sliver buckles on the side. (They were my favorite).

After getting dressed, I made my way down stairs to see my mother with breakfast on the table. She had two waffles on the plate waiting for me. "Good morning sweetheart" she said smiling while still making more food as she stood by the stove. I ignored her greeting and questioned her about breakfast.

"What's with the waffles mom?" I asked while fidgeting with my hands.

"I just thought I'd make some breakfast. You know it's been a while since I actually made breakfast Zoey, so just enjoy it"

I smiled at her statement. "Thanks mom. That's really sweet of you, but I really got to go.- I don't want to miss the school bus" I said walking towards the door. I looked back and waved goodbye, then made my way outside.

Time Flew by pretty fast at school and my 6th period Art class was just starting. Today was the day that partners would work together and talk about their plans for their project. My partner, Riley Freeman, was no where to be found. I sat by myself for 15 minutes, writing in my book of shadows, until a loud outburst was heard in class. " YOUNG REEZY IN THE BUILDING!" - I looked up to see my loud, ignorant partner who was wearing a large red hoodie with jeans that were way too loose and those god awful timberland boots. Mrs. Abigail got up from her desk and walked over to him.

"Riley keep it down, we're working with partners today, so get a desk and sit next to Zoey, so you can talk about the plans for your project."

" aight..that's coo" He said walking towards me. I watched him as he put his desk next to mine.

" Sooo uh..how we gon' do this?" he asked.

I looked at him annoyed "well, we're suppose to have a concept, which is supposed to be something we take interest in. For example, my concept would probably be something that deals with spirits- losts souls, because that's what interests me—what do you take interest in?" I asked

He was quiet for a few seconds and later on responded. "I like guns, knives and shit like that-anything that deals with thug life and I feel you on that shit about spirits. Tupac is one of my favorite rappers and he dead, but I feel like-his spirit is still with us nah mean?"

"….." I gave him a blank stare and then turned my head to the other side. "God help me get through this" I said in a low whisper.

I wrote down some of my interest and his interests on paper, so we could try to compromise on the two concepts we wanted to combine. I stopped writing when he asked me a question.

"aye..how come I never see you at lunch in the cafeteria?. I mean, you not a senior, so you can't go off campus to eat, so where you be at?"

"In the library" I replied in a low tone.

"Oh—not trying to be rude or anything, but I heard you worship Satan and shit..is that true?"

I turned around and looked at him with a confused expression on my face. "Who told you that?" I asked

"I'm not sayin who told me. I'm not no snitch, but I heard you worship satin..Is it true or not?"

I rolled my eyes in disgust and made a slight laugh " No, It's not true. It's hilarious how easy rumors can spread."

He then looked at me silently, as if he was trying to solve a puzzle. I turned my head the other way, ignoring the puzzled look on his face. "We have to finish talking about the project" I said changing the subject. He ignored my response, by asking me another question.

" -And why you be wearing so much black? You gothic or something?" he asked.

I was starting to get annoyed with his silly little questions. "No, I'm not gothic. I just like to wear black. It's my favorite color- may I ask you why do wear clothes that are 2 times bigger than your size?"

"Because real niggas don't wear no tight nut hugger jeans- that shit is GAY"

"Oh, I never knew jeans had a sexuality" I responded.

30 minutes had passed by and Art class was about to end. Riley and I didn't really do much talking about the project. He was too busy questioning me. Our desks were still connected and I started to put my notebook and pen back into my bag. I was about to make my way out of the classroom, but felt a slight touch on my arm. I looked back to see Riley looking at me.

"Yeah?" I asked softly.

"I think we should probably exchange numbers..you know, since we doing a project together"

"oh..yeah, sure. I'll give it to you later after school, before I catch the bus"

" You catch the bus home?" he asked

" Yeah- my mom works at a hospital, she has the late shift and doesn't have time to pick me up"

"My brother has a car- we can give you a ride home if you want.." he said rubbing the back of his neck nervously. I thought to myself *why was he being so kind?* It's not like him to be so generous. It couldn't be that he likes me-I'm too ugly to be liked, nobody would ever want me. I stood there for a few seconds, wondering if I should accept his offer. The buses did take a while to get here and I didn't feel like standing outside waiting all day.

" Yeah, that's fine with me..as long as it's okay with your brother." I said walking off.

RILEY FREEMAN- POV

Finally, school was fucking over. I walked the halls looking for my brother Huey. I later on spotted him at his locker putting up some books. Jazmine was standing on the side of him. " Yo Hu-aaay" I said a few feet back to get his attention. He looked back with no expression and continued putting up his books. When I made it to the locker, I stood infront of Jazmine to get Huey attention.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I wanted to know if you could give this girl a ride home." 

" What girl?"

" …She's one of my classmates. Her name is Zoey and she catches the bus, but I told her you would give her a ride home"

" So- you expect me to drive this girl home when I have no idea who she is or where she lives"

"Directions nigga- that's what they made for, use them" I said with my arms folded.

" Sorry, I can't bring her home because me and Jazmine are supposed to be going to the museum for a school assignment. After we drop you off home, we're leaving because the museum closes early today and I have to get there as soon as possible."

I nodded my head " okay okay, but can she get a ride if you just bring her home with me—then drop her off home later? I mean- we supposed to be working on a project anyway"

"Yeah, sure, whatever" he said in his nonchalant voice.

"Okay, cool- wait right here while I go get her"

I saw Zoey by her locker waiting. Even though I wasn't able to bring her home right away, I kind of hoped she would still come to my place, so we could talk…..about the project.

" Yo Zoey" I said walking up to her. She looked at me with those pretty green eyes that had a hint of brown.

"Did your brother say yes?" she asked.

" Uh..kind of – He said he would bring you home, but not right away. He has to do an assignment for school at the museum, but I thought since me and you were doing this project together, we could just talk about it at my place?"

She looked at me quietly for a few seconds, then responded.

"Okay-sure, my mom doesn't get off until 10:00 anyway"


	3. Chapter 3

ZOEY ANDERSON- POV

I followed Riley's lead as we headed back to his brother. I was quite nervous to meet him. Meeting any person I wasn't familiar with was always nerve wracking. When I met Huey, I couldn't believe how much he and Riley resembled each other. Just from hearing him introduce himself and speak, I could tell that he was the exact opposite of Riley.

We later on arrived at their house, which was very nice. I have to admit, by Riley's demeanor, I didn't expect him to live in a neighborhood like this. Huey dropped us off and we walked inside of the house. As I walked inside, I looked around admiring some of the antiques in the Freemans' home. I looked the other way and saw an old man sitting in a recliner chair.

"Granddad, this is one of my classmates from school, her name is Zoey. We're working on a project together, so I just wanted you to meet her"

"Hello sweetheart" he said with a smile on his face.

I smiled and waved. "Your home is lovely Mr. Freeman"

"Thank you sweetheart"

After our short chat, Riley leaded me to his room, which was shared with his brother. One side of the room had clothes on the floor with thuggish posters on the wall. I immediately knew it was Riley's side. I took a seat on his bed, getting out my notebook and pen. "Okay- so I guess we can finish where we left off?" I asked referring to the art project. I watched him as he took off his hoodie exposing his white wifebeater. He then got his sketchbook and sat down next to me.

"You not hot with that black hoodie on?" he asked touching my sleeve.

"No, I'm fine-have you ever worked with pastels before" I asked quickly trying to change the subject.

"yeah I have. I prefer using spray paint though. You can make a beautiful work of art on a big building for everyone to see. I think that's much better than using pastels on a small canvas…but can I ask you something?"

I sighed at him going off subject once again " yeah, go ahead Riley"

"Ever since you came to this school ,you been wearing nothing but long sleeves shirts. You hardly ever show your arms and why you always got to wear that dark ass make up on your face?- I'm sure you look 10x better without it.."

I paused quietly looking at him as he looked at me waiting for an answer. I didn't understand why cared so much – why couldn't he just let me be and drown in my sorrows.

"You seem to notice a lot of things about me Riley..why is that?" I asked in a soft tone.

" I'm just trying to figure you out- but don't try to avoid my question. Why do you wear the long sleeves and pile makeup on your face when you don't need to?"

I took off my black hoodie, revealing my long sleeve black shirt. " I wear long sleeves because of this" I said, pulling up half of my sleeve exposing old faded scars and even some fresh cuts that were covered with pink band-aids. It was scars that came from me cutting myself. I watched him as he grabbed my arm and looked at my scars in silence. After examining my old and fresh cuts, he finally responded.

" Why you doin this to yourself?" he asked in soft whisper. I swear that was the softest sound I ever heard him make, especially compared to when we're in class.

I turned my head the other way and replied "because I'm worthless. I hate myself so much-you just wouldn't understand Riley"

" I don't get it. You're pretty even with the shitty make up on your face. You got some nice eyes and nice lips too. I mean you skinny, but there's nothing wrong with skinny girls- I just don't understand why it's always the pretty girls that think they're ugly, when all them ugly bitches at school walking around like they fucking GOLD."

"It's hard to explain Riley—like I said before..you wouldn't understand"

He looked at me once again, as if he was trying to solve a puzzle, but I knew he would never put the pieces together.

"You know what I think?" he asked

"….what?" I asked while looking at the floor.

"I don't think your favorite color is black. I think it's just an excuse for you to hide behind who you really are. You dress in black to hide because you don't want to be noticed and I think that's bullshit because you are a beautiful person Zoey-believe it or not.

"—and you know what else I think?"

"what?" I asked looking up at him

" I think you should take that ugly ass makeup off?- you don't need it"

I shook my head from side to side "I can't do that Riley"'

He grabbed my hand pulling me off the bed. "get up and follow me"

Authors Note: Okay guys, well I made it to 3 chapters, so this will probably be where I stop until I get some reviews. I just wanted to give you a decent amount of chapters to get the feel of the story, but I can't continue if don't get feed back. So if you like the story, leave reviews –au revoir my loves


	4. Chapter 4

****Author's note: I got a review on chapter 1 & 3-fuck yes-and I appreciate it****

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><p><strong>I got up off the bed and he walked down the hallway, opening the door to the left. He had led me to a bathroom. "Riley what is this about?" I asked confused.<strong>

**"I want to see you, the real you" he said turning the faucet knob. The water began to run.**

**I took a deep breath while looking at myself in the mirror, then looked towards Riley who was leaning on the wall with his arms folded.**

**"Okay fine-I'll do it"**

**After 8 minutes of scrubbing my makeup off with soap and water, my face was finally fresh and clean. I looked at myself in the mirror with sad eyes. I was back to looking disgusting again. I felt Riley's hand moving the hair out of my face.**

**"Damn, your freckles make you look cute as fuck" he said smiling.**

**"Whatever you say" I said in a low tone**

**I was about to make my way out of the bathroom door, until Riley pulled me back and kissed me. His kiss was soft and gentle, but got deeper the longer we kissed. It was nice, but I had to stop myself by pushing him back a bit.**

**"What's wrong?- I thought everything was coo with us" he asked, giving me a confused look**

**" Riley- you're 14 years old"**

**He laughed at my reply "You gotta be kiddin me right. You only a year older than me Zoey—so tell me what's really up?"**

**I stood there silent. I had no answer for him and I honestly didn't even know why I was stopping him. Maybe I just wasn't ready for affection. –I watched him take a few steps back away from me.**

**"I get it-You don't think I'm good enough for you huh? Not classy enough?"**

**"No, that's not true.."**

**"Then what is it? Why you acting like you ain't feelin a nigga?"**

**I sighed and shook my head. I couldn't believe how defensive he was getting. One moment he was sweet and caring, the next moment, he was ready to explode.**

**"It's just—Im not used to this kind of stuff okay?- I never did anything like this. I've been antisocial for so long and it just feels weird to show affection with someone"**

**He looked at me and gave me a slight smile " well, I can definitely help you come out your shell"**

**"That would take a miracle" I said walking out of the door. Riley followed behind me as I made my way to his room.**

**"You wanna chill out and just watch a movie until my brother gets back?"**

**I looked at him and laughed. It was so funny how he easily got off track, but I was a girl who took my work very seriously. "Riley, we're supposed to be working on the Art project, remember?"**

**He pushed his arm out to the side " Pssh, man fuck that shit, we could do it tomorrow"**

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><p><strong>RILEY FREEMAN- POV<strong>

**Spending time with Zoey was coo-I mean, even though she had a shitload of problems. I didn't trip off that because I knew I could make her change her ways. I knew I was capable of getting her out this darkness she closed herself in. I even told her I didn't want to see not one bit of makeup on her face for school the next day.**

**3rd period class, I sat in my desk leaned back with my hands behind my head, letting the sound of Ms. Burks talking about algebraic equations go from one ear and out the other. I had my mind on Zoey, and planned on asking her If I could go to her house after school. I stopped day dreaming once I noticed Cindy staring at me from the corner of my eye.**

**"whatchu lookin at?" I asked annoyed**

**"I heard you had that creepy bitch at yo house last night" she said in a low whisper**

**"That bitch Jazmine told you huh? I swear that ho got the biggest fucking mouth, can't keep a secret for shit" I said shaking my head from side to side.**

**"Oh-so it was supposed to be a secret?"**

**"Why don't you just worry about yours aight?- and stay out mine"**

**"I'm just trying to help you Riley..somethin ain't right with that bitch"**

**"Well I don't need your help, Zoey is the one who needs help and I can—'**

**"Mr. Freeman, do you want to move to the front of the class?" The teacher asked giving me a pissed off look. I shook my head "no thankyou, Ms. Burks". She turned around and continued writing on the board. My conversation with Cindy came to a stop, until the bell ringed and it was time to leave. Her messy ass couldn't wait to try and get something out of me.**

**"I'm not telling you Cindy" I said as we walked down the halls together, side by side.**

**"Come on Riley, we supposed to be friends,why does she need help? Is she sick?..evil?"**

**"No, just leave it alone because I'm not telling you shit"**

**"Aw, you cold as ice Reezy".**

**"Whatever nigga" I said walking off. I made my way to 4th period**

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><p><strong>ZOEY ANDERSON-POV<strong>

**Surprisingly, school wasn't that bad today. I actually got a few compliments about my face. I decided to take some advice from Riley and not wear makeup to school, but I still was dressed in black. I walked over to my locker to get my text book for 5th period and saw the words SATAN'S FAVORITE SLUT in black marker on my locker. I couldn't believe someone would do this. I never messed with anyone at this school. I never caused trouble, so why would someone be so childish and cruel? I was glad nobody was around to see the shocked expression on my face. My heart was racing so fast as if it could explode from my chest and my hands began to shake. I started to get that urge. I needed to do it and FAST. I found my way to nearest restroom, luckily no one was in there.**

**I went inside the stall, looking for the small razor blade I kept in a small bag inside my booksack. "Come on, where are you?" I whispered anxiously. I finally found it- I pulled up my sleeve and let the blade glide across my skin. It made me feel so relieved. I put a wet paper towel on my arm to slow down the bleeding and covered my cut with a band-aid, I didn't plan on talking to the principal about the cruel words written on my locker. I decided to wipe it off myself, causing me to miss my whole 5th period class.**

**Author's note: okay to whoever is reading this- you're probably thinking WTF, but things will get better and by the way she's not evil and she believes in God. oh my goodness and if someone is silently reading, please speak up, so i can know if this story sucks ass or not?**


	5. Mean Girl

**Author's note: I really appreciate the reviews**

**l-dizzle- I see you and yeah I appreciate your review!**

**Paige1292- lol she's biracial – half black, half white- the next chapter is probably going to explain about her parents.**

**to the readers- the beginning is a continuation from the last chapter**.

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><p>Riley Freeman- POV<p>

I sat in my desk waiting for Zoey to arrive. I had her desk already next to mine so we could work on our project as soon as she came in. She finally made it to class six minutes later. *I'm usually the late one* I thought to myself as she walked towards me. She looked much more sadder than she usually did.

"I see you took my advice.." I said while touching her face. She nodded her head silently, giving me no response.

"What's wrong with you?—it's that time of the month?"

"—not funny Riley" She replied sadly.

"Well, I got you to say something, didn't I? – tell Reezy what's up"

" I don't want to talk about it-I don't want to talk about anything, not even this stupid Art assignment" – she replied, turning her head away from me.

"Is your mom still working late at the hospital?" I asked. Her head was still turned away from me.

" Yeah—why?"

"Because I wanna come over..we could catch the bus together"

She turned her head back to me "My mom would freak if I had a guy in the house"

"Well don't tell her-she ain't gotta know"

"-it does get lonely catching the bus _by yourself_ sometimes"

"Exactly-so can I come over or not?"

"yeah- just meet me at the bus stop and don't be late"

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><p>Zoey Anderson- POV<p>

After school Riley and I caught the bus to my house. I was so nervous about him coming over. I definitely planned on staying in the living room the whole time. If he were to see my room, he would probably think I was more weirder than what I already am. - When we made it to the house, I threw my bag on the couch and walked into the kitchen. Riley followed behind me as I walked towards the kitchen cabinet and got my favorite coffee mug.

"I just need to get some coffee right quick, you can take a seat on the couch"

"Nah, I'm waiting for us to go upstairs, to your room"

"Who said we were going to my room?" I asked while pouring my coffee. My back was facing him.

"Aw come on Zoey, that's some bullshit. How you bring a nigga over and then say I gotta stay in the living room—that's fucked up"

"Well, my room is not the normal 15 year old girl's room okay?"

It was quiet for a while. I didn't get a response from Riley, so I decided to look back and to my surprise, he wasn't in the room. " –Riley?" I called while leaving the kitchen. When I didn't see him in the living room, I knew exactly where he was. I went up the stairs and opened my bedroom door and saw Riley sitting on my bed with a smile on his face, but I didn't find anything funny.

"I don't appreciate you going into my room like that"

He made a slight laugh. "My bad Zoey, I just –couldn't help it. I don't even know why you tried to hide this room. This shit is nice- I like the dark grey walls and those two human size skeletons in the corner—and this queen size bed feel good as fuck, but wassup with all the white candles sitting on the dresser?"

"I use it for spells- White candles for witchcraft represents purification, protection, and positive energy"

"-You fuck with witchcraft?" he asked with one eyebrow raised.

"Yeah- There's nothing evil about witchcraft. It's actually great for spiritual healing"

"So, you don't put curses on people and shit?"

I rolled my eyes at his question. I couldn't believe that people automatically assumed that someone who practices witchcraft was evil. If only they knew that witchcraft is something that is learned, it takes practice and years of studying. It wasn't the fake stuff you see on TV. I walked towards my bookcase and got out one of my favorite books called The Inner Temple of Witchcraft . I took a seat next to Riley to explain how great the book was.

"You should read this- it's one of my favorites and it tells you the truth about witchcraft. I think I read this book at least three times"

He took the book from my hand and threw it on the floor.

"Why would you do that?" I asked in an irritated tone. I got off the bed to retrieve my book.

"No offense Zoey, but you really don't have shit better to do than study witchcraft?"

"OFFENSE TAKEN" I replied with my arms crossed. He got off the bed and walk towards me, putting his hand on my shoulder. "I'm not trying to be mean Zoey, but I just think it's crazy that you're 15 and all you do is sit in your house and read books about witchcraft.."

"Well, what do you want me to do? This my life –This is all I know " I responded in a low tone.

"Get out and have fun-you're wasting your good teenage years on lame shit like this- It's pathetic and you're gonna end up regretting it in the future "

I put my head down in shame. I felt so embarrassed of myself. "Oh Riley, you sure know how to make a girl feel good about herself" I said sarcastically.

He lightly lifted my chin up and kissed me. "Don't take it personal" he replied while pushing back the hair from my face. He kissed me again and it lasted for a few minutes until I pulled away.

"I'm so not used to this stuff-Am I a bad kisser?" I asked

He nodded his head and laughed. "kinda, but you'll get better" he replied, taking a seat on my bed again. "You wanna sit with me and my friends at lunch?" he asked. I stood there quietly for a few minutes. I was so awkward with meeting just one person and now he wants me to sit with him and his friends at lunch. I never stepped foot in that cafeteria since the day arrived at the school. I would probably have an anxiety attack..

" I don't know Riley-I'm not good with hanging in groups."

"Zoey, stop trippin and just give them a chance. They real coo when you get to know em"

Of course, I gave in and agreed, but I wasn't looking forward to it.

Riley later on left the house around 8:00pm. I was still at home by myself, which meant I had a lot of time to think about what I would wear tomorrow, and most importantly "what the hell was I going to bring to lunch?" Because I sure as hell wasn't going to eat the greasy high calorie processed junk they called food in that place.

I looked through my closet and picked out a black sweater. I could wear it with my black skinny jeans and my black platform boots. I also was tired of straightening my hair, so I decided that tomorrow I would wash it and just leave it in its natural curly state.

*The Next Day of School*

I leaned back on my locker, waiting for Riley. We had planned on meeting at the locker, so he could walk me to the Cafeteria, but as I sat there and waited, my mind began to flood with thoughts of *What If*. -I was thinking of bailing on him. He wasn't around and I had time to make my way to the girls restroom before being noticed. I started to walk off from my locker, picking up the speed to arrive at my destination, but it was too late. Riley had came from the other side of the hall and spotted me.

"You curled you hair?" He asked as he walked closer to me

"No, I just washed it and let it air dry..it's naturally curly"

"Well, you should wear it like this more often. It looks good"

I ignored his compliment. I was too busy thinking about making a fool of myself in front of his friends.

"I can't do this Riley-I feel like my heart is about to burst, that's how nervous I am"

"You'll never get out of your shyness if you keep avoiding people Zoey"

"Whatever, I don't care" I said walking off in the opposite direction

"Alright, go ahead and leave. Be a coward- you'll never make it in life with that kind of attitude."

I stopped walking and decided to turn around to respond, but he began to walk off, I had no intentions on stopping him. I know he wants me to change, but you can't help a person who doesn't want to be helped. I walked into the girls restroom and looked at myself in the mirror. Riley was right..I was a coward- I was a pathetic 15 year old girl slowly killing herself. I was trying to escape from the world because I felt like there was nothing to live for. "You still have time to change- you can do this" I told myself in silence. I picked up my bag and decided to make my way to the cafeteria.

My heart was beating so fast, but I ignored it as I looked for Riley. For some reason, it felt like everyone was staring at me and whether it was my imagination or not, I didn't like it at all. A few minutes later, I saw Riley sitting with his brother and some other friends at a table towards the back. I slowly walked over to the table. "-is this seat taken?" I asked nervously, pointing to the empty chair next to Riley. "It's all yours" he replied patting on the seat of the chair. I took a seat and put my small brown bag on table, preparing to take out my lunch. While everybody else had burgers, fries, and other high calorie foods, I had 6 baby carrots and a small cup of applesauce for lunch. I could see the two girls at the table eyeing me as I took a bite of my carrot.

"Wow, that sure looks delicious" The blonde Caucasian girl said in a sarcastic tone

"I'm kind of a health freak" I replied

"So you never eat candy, pizza, ice cream..no good shit like that?" she asked.

"Nope- I hate junk food"

"You hate junk food..or do you just hate food all together?" she asked with a smile on her face.

"Why you so worried about what she eats anyway?" Riley asked annoyed

"I'm not- I just think it's a little weird that she-.."

I quickly interrupted before the conversation got out of hand.

"It's okay- I'm used to being weird" I responded. I grabbed my lunch, putting it back into the bag. I couldn't deal with this lunch thing and I didn't want to cause any unnecessary drama, so I decided to leave.

"It was nice meeting you guys, but I have an essay to write, so I'll be in the library" I said, getting up from the seat. I walked out of the cafeteria and threw the lunch away. Once again, I failed. I honestly think my life was more easy when I didn't talk to anyone. Being a loner was much more simple- so that's what I had to do, I had to push myself away from others-or more like push myself away from _a certain person_.

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><p>RILEY POV<p>

I planned on talking to Zoey in our 6th period Art class. I wanted to explain to her that Cindy meant no harm by her comments, but when I made it to 6th period, I noticed Zoey paired up with some girl on the other side of the classroom. I walked to Mrs. Abigail's desk to see what was up.

"Uh Mrs. Abigail—arn't we working on our Art assignment today?"

She nodded her head - " yes, but you will be working with Jonathan" she said pointing her finger to a boy in the back. *I don't even know who that nigga is*

" What was the reason for switching us though? We already started working on the assignment."

She shook her head from side to side " From what I heard, you guys barely got anything done, so just take a seat next to Jonathan and start talking about your Ideas- I'll give you guys a few extra days to work on it okay?"

"whatever.." I muttered as I walked to back of the class.

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><p>Zoey Anderson-POV<p>

I sat on the couch, sipping my black coffee while watching project runway. I was physically tired, but couldn't go to sleep. Riley had called me at least 3 times, but I had been ignoring his calls. A few minutes later, my cell phone ringed again. It was Riley.

*Maybe I should answer..it could be something important* I thought to myself.

"Hello…" I said, answering the phone.

"Why did we switch partners Zoey? I know you had something to do with it."

"I asked her to switch us for our own good-I'm just a burden to you Riley. You deserve to enjoy your school year without having to worry about some fucked up girl."

"You're not fucked up"

"YES I am- I'm so fucked up in so many different ways- You probably wouldn't even look at me the same if you knew all my secrets"

"Well you'll never know if you don't give me a chance huh?.."

"No Riley, you gave ME a chance and I fucked that chance up- I'm just a disaster and better off by myself"

I hung up the phone after that last statement. It left me with sad thoughts, making me think about the beginning of the disaster that started the madness.

Author: okay, I have to stop here because I'm like brain dead, but please leave reviews. I truly appreciate them.


	6. Risk Taker

_**Author's Note: Hey guys, once again-thanks for the reviews. I took a while because I was debating with myself whether to post this chapter or not because I hated it..still do, but I promise, the next chapter will be better okay, au revoir.**_

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><p>Three days had passed sense I had talked to Riley and those three days avoiding him felt like pure torture. It was then I realized that my decision to avoid him was a terrible mistake. Even though I felt like I was a burden to Riley, he made my days a little less dull. I felt a slight happiness when I was around him and I needed that feeling back again.<p>

While at school, I walked the halls looking for Riley. We had 8 minutes left before students had to go to their classes and I wanted to tell Riley what a mistake I made. I decided to check by his locker, but he wasn't there. I sighed to myself in disappointment. I came up with the idea of making a small note and sliding it in his locker, that way I didn't have to actually communicate with him face to face. I dug in my bag looking for my pen to write the note. Two minutes later, I found it, but the pen was useless when I noticed someone walk towards me. It was Riley standing there with both hands in his pockets. His facial expression was far from friendly, which made realize he was still upset with me.

"Whatchu doin by my locker? –I thought you didn't wanna be around me anymore?"

"…It's not that I didn't want to be around you Riley, I just thought that I was deadweight—I'm not trying to bring drama to your life and your friends obviously think I'm strange"

"but I don't care what they think, all that matters is what I think of you"

"..you really mean that?" I asked.

"Of course I do Zoey" he said, putting his arm around my shoulder. He then gave me a mischievous grin.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked curiously

"How about we cut class and chill out for bit?" he asked with the mischievous look still on his face. I raised my eyebrow at his question.

"Um, you're joking right?"

"No, I'm serious-very serious- wait in the bathroom for me while I go get Huey's keys. I'll text you when I'm ready for you to come out"

"Riley …you can't take his car. Are you crazy?' I asked in a low tone. The last thing I wanted was someone to hear us.

"No, I just want us to get away and chill, spend some time together—look I know what I'm doin alright? Just go in the bathroom; I'll text you when I get the keys.

"Alright..fine" I said making my way to the girls restroom. I know what I planned to do was stupid, but I hardly ever took any risks. I might as well give it shot and see how it goes.

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><p>Riley Freeman- Pov<p>

"Aye Huey!.." I yelled from across the hall while making my way over to him. I spotted him just in time as he was about to make his way to his 2nd period class.

"Shouldn't you be in 2nd period?" He asked.

"Yeah, but I forgot my book in your car. Can I see the keys right quick, I'll give em back at lunch"

He reached in his pocket and handed me the keys "DO NOT lose my keys Riley"

"Man quit trippin, Ima give em back, damn"

After I got the keys, I made my way towards the back exit of the school and texted Zoey where to meet me outside. Five minutes later, she made her way out of the door. I could see the nervousness all over face. I grabbed her hand leading her to Huey's car in the parking lot. As we got inside the car, she gave me a look.. a look as if she was about to back out on me.

"Don't even think about it Zoey..we already in the car-there's no turning back" I said, putting the key in the ignition.

"but Riley, this is so wrong-what if we get caught..what if the police pulls us over or something?"

"Damn- I swear you sound just like Jazmine when me, granddad, and Huey snuck into the movies years ago—just chill alright; I got this"

I put the car in drive and made my way out of the parking lot. I didn't plan on going too far, just far enough where we wouldn't be noticed. That's why I decided to stop by my nigga Clyde, who got suspended the other day for getting into it with a teacher. Chillin by his house would be perfect because his mom was at work and I didn't have to worry about me and Zoey being seen-it was the perfect plan.

" see? I told you we would get here with no problems" I said to Zoey as I parked the car in the drive way. I got out of the car, making my way towards the door. After waiting a few minutes, Clyde finally came, giving us a greeting.

"Wassup Nigga?—I see brought some company" Clyde said, referring to Zoey. She gave him a quick wave.

"Oh shit, you took Huey's car?" He asked surprised.

I laughed and nodded my head—"More like borrowed it.."

"Does he know?"

"Nah, I'll bring it back before he notices."

"Man you better or that nigga Huey gon' Karate chop yo ass"

"Man, I ain't scared of him" I said walking inside of the house. Zoey followed behind me as we walked in the living room, taking a seat on the couch.

"aye Riley, I gotta show you something" Clyde said, pointing to the left which lead to the hallway, bringing us to his room.

I got off the couch and followed him to his room, he closed the door and went towards his dresser, pulling out a small size bag of weed.

"Damn, you got that white widow? Who you get that shit from?" I asked. It had been a while since I had smoked some good weed.

"From my cousin, he know this nigga that be selling on campus around his college—you wanna hit this shit before y'all leave? I already got a few blunts rolled up—we could go out in the backyard and smoke this shit"

"Fuckin right nigga..give me some of that shit"

He pulled out two blunts and looked towards me "Does Zoey smoke weed?"

I thought about it for a few seconds and then answered " …I don't think so, she too much of a good girl"

" really?- seem like she would be into it."

"What makes you say that?" I asked curiously.

"It's just the way she dresses-The black clothes ,the black lipstick, them big ass platform boots she be wearing-all that makes me think she do some freaky shit behind closed doors- like some dominatrix shit nahmean?- no disrespect though."

"I seriously doubt Zoey's like that- she barely knows how to kiss"

" but what she like in bed though?"

"….I don't know- we never did anything. I'm pretty sure she's a virgin anyway; she's real uptight about kissing and shit"

"Well she obviously feelin you, I mean she cut class with you and everything..You better get some of that dark gothic virgin pussy while you can nigga"

I laughed at his response. "Nigga, you crazy. I really like Zoey and honestly right now, all I really care about is getting to know her more"

"You didn't say that when you was braggin about fucking Cindy though huh?"

"Man, that's different..Me and Cindy been coo since the 3rd grade. I feel like Cindy's more of a homey than a girlfriend, but with Zoey it's like.. I don't know-there's just something about her that makes we want to know more and more. She's like a puzzle ..and I'm trying to put the pieces together."

Clyde stared at me for a few seconds and then burst into laughter. "Ahahaa..Nigga what the fuck? Who are you Nigga? You getting all soft on me and shit"

I took the blunt out of his hand as he continued to laugh "Whatever, Nigga" I said while walking out the room.

* * *

><p>Zoey Anderson-POV<p>

I sat in the living room by myself, waiting for Riley to come back. Sitting there made me think about how crazy I was to go through with this. My thoughts were quickly interrupted when I saw Riley leave out of the room a few minutes later. *I thought he would never leave that room—I wonder what they were talking about*- I later on noticed he had something in his hand.

"I hope that's not what I think it is" I said in a serious tone.

"Weed? If that's what you think it is, then you're right" Riley said, taking a seat next to me.

"Well, I'm leaving..I don't want to be around this" I said getting off the couch. I headed for the door, but Riley grabbed my arm.

"Let me go. I didn't want to do this cutting class thing in the first place"

"Zoey, why you trippin?- It's just weed..and it's not like I do it everyday"

"Yeah, that's because your Granddad would probably beat the shit out of you if he found out."

He laughed as if I was joking, but it was far from funny. I was serious and I was ready to make an exit for that door if he didn't put that blunt down. I saw his friend Clyde watching us, trying to see what was going on.

"Seriously Riley, If you smoke that stuff, I'm leaving.."

He let my arm go and walked over to Clyde, giving him the blunt. Clyde made a slight laugh. "I see who wears the pants in this relationship" he said while taking the blunt back from Riley.

"I think I'll just leave… Huey probably looking for me anyway and this cutting school shit aint working out as planned- I'll see you at school tomorrow" Riley said, giving Clyde dap.

Riley made his way to the door and left out. I followed along of course and was smiling on the inside, relieved to be leaving and going back to school where we belonged. The drive back was quiet. I had a feeling Riley was upset because he didn't say a word to me in the car.

We walked towards the backdoor exit to get inside the school, but the doors were locked, which meant we had to stay outside until lunch time. Luckily nobody spotted us. While we were outside Riley asked me if I wanted to go to his house after school and of course I agreed. My mother was still working the late shift and I didn't have shit else to do anyway.

(Chillin' With The Freemans')

"Watch that bitch gon' die" Riley said loudly. We sat on the couch watching a horror movie with Huey and their Grandfather. His grandfather responded back "White bitches always doing stupid shit! They must wanna get their asses killed!"

I made a light laugh. Riley and His grandfather were hilarious when they were watching movies. Huey on the other hand, was giving them looks as if he were annoyed by their loudness.

Later on around 7:15, Riley's Granddad went upstairs to relax, so Riley, Huey and I decided to play Dirt 2 (racing game) on the PS3. Riley lied down on the floor with me as I played the game; Huey sat on the couch with his wireless controller. It was me against Huey and surprisingly, I was in the lead.- " oh shit, she bout to beat yo ass Huey" Riley said, while eating a bag of chips. "This nigga bout to get WHOOPED by a girl" Riley said, continuing on.

"Just like the prostitute whooped your ass on the Playstation at 8 years old ? You know, the one that had you crying like a bitch?" Huey asked.

"Aye till this fucking day, I keep my word nigga and that Ho was cheating fo'real."

"Why was a prostitute in your home?" I asked Riley, while keeping my eyes focused on the game.

"Granddad was just desperate for pussy..that's all"

I continued on with the race and noticed Huey was catching up to me. Listening to Riley must have threw me off track. I clicked on my controller button harder, trying to speed up.

"Come on Zoey, you got this!" Riley said, egging me on. I admit that his encouragement did help me get to the finish line.

"Yea yea. That's what I'm talking bout baby" Riley, said, giving me slap on my butt. I turned around and gave him a surprised look. "..oh my bad, I just..got a litte carried away" he said nervously. I smiled at him and laughed. "It's okay.."

"Okay coo, you ready for Young Reezy to murder that ass…on the game?

I laughed again "Yeah whatever.."

Around 8:50, Huey and Riley brought me to my house. Riley had walked me to my door while Huey waited in the car.

"Tonight was fun" I said with a smile on my face. I got my key from my bag and noticed Riley looking at me quietly with his hands in his pockets. "Why are looking at me like that?" I asked

"…I was just thinking that I'm kind of tired of this sneaking around thing. Your mom has no clue that I even exist. I just wanna meet your people—you met mine, so I should meet yours right?"

I stood quiet for a minute, unsure of his question.

"—don't you want your family to know about me Zoey?" he asked

I nodded my head. "Of course- I just don't know the right time to tell her about you."

"Just do it tonight" he said , giving me a kiss afterwards. I walked inside the house and thought about how I was going to tell my mom about Riley. I mean, he wasn't my boyfriend or anything, but he's still not the type of boy my mother would want me around. Actually she despised the type of guys like Riley who wore the big hoodies and jeans, talking with ebonics, and guys who had more than 2 inches of hair on their heads were unkempt to her. She was generally a woman who was very hard to please.

I had no Idea how I was going to convince her to like him.

**Author: yeah..that's pretty much it. Thank you and please leave reviews. They give me motivation and I promise the next chapter won't suck like this one!**

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	7. Cruel Intentions

Author's note: Hi readers- I'm back and your reviews made me feel much better. I appreciate it- okay so..here it goes. Zoey Anderson starts off the story.

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><p>I sat on the living room couch, in my pajamas as I waited for my mother to get back from work. I later on heard the sound of the door opening. In came my mother with a tired look on her face. She came towards me, putting her purse on the couch and taking a seat next to me. She looked as if she was relieved to be home, away from work.<p>

"You look exhausted mom.."

"Yeah, It was a busy day. They had a lot going on and I'm just so tired." She replied "As soon as I get off this couch, I'm going to take a hot bath and then go to sleep"

I nodded my head. "yeah, that sounds like a great idea, but I wanted to tell you that I have a friend at school and-"

"Zoey that's wonderful" She said excitedly, interrupting my sentence. "see? I knew you would make friends..so what she's like?"

I laughed at my mother assuming that my friend was a girl. "Actually HE'S a really nice guy—and I want you to meet him" I said with a slight smile.

I became a little nervous. My mother was quiet for a few seconds, but I was quickly relieved once I saw a smile appear on her face.

"That's great sweetheart—but you have to be careful. He may seem like a nice guy, but you're never too sure."

"Trust me mom, I've been talking to him basically since I transferred here…he's nice and it was his idea to meet you"

"How old is he?" She asked, with one eyebrow raised

"….14" I said in a low voice while covering my face with both hands. I was filled with embarrassment. I always pictured myself liking someone older. I was supposed to be the younger one.

"Is it weird that he's 14 and I'm 15?" I asked, still embarrassed

She laughed. "Of course not, Zoey-I was actually relieved. I thought you were going to tell me he was a senior or something and you know guys their age only want one thing"

*I'm pretty sure they all want that one thing* I thought to myself.

"So when can he come over?" I asked nervously.

"Saturday, this weekend-no more questions tonight okay?"

"I need to take my bath and go to sleep. Goodnight sweetheart, don't stay up too late" She said, making her way up the stairs.

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><p>Riley Freeman- POV<p>

While at school, me and Cindy sat in the library studying definitions for our Biology 1 class. Granddad had been on my ass about my grades(no homo), so I had to step it up. Even though we were studying, my mind would get off track and I would think about Zoey.

"Can you please pay attention?" Cindy asked annoyed.

"…I am payin attention- stop sweatin me. damn"

"Fine, you the one who asked for help—shit, if you wanna fail- go right ahead" She said, getting up from the table.

"..Okay, I'm sorry- I'll pay attention alright?"

She sat back down "Yeah, you should be sorry because I don't have to be here. I could be in the cafeteria eating lunch with Kevin"

"Kevin who?" I asked with my eyebrow raised

"Kevin Davis-don't act like you don't know him. The junior on the basketball team? Number 24"

I shook my head from side to side "Never heard of the nigga"

Of course, I was lying. I knew who the nigga was. I had to go to basketball tryouts with him. He made the team and I didn't. Coach even told me I was better than him, but my cocky attitude and ball hogging kept me from making the team. He told me to comeback next year when I learned some sportsmanship. Ain't that some ol bullshit?

"Whatever, you're just jealous cause he's on the team and you're not" she said, laughing afterwards.

"Jealous of what? That nigga is garbage- Coach only let him on the team because I didn't have enough sportsmanship...oh wait, let me guess—you think you the shit now because you dating a junior?- a junior that sucks ass at basketball, nigga don't even have a car, no money and you braggin like you got something? You better think again"

Cindy looked at me in silence, I could see the anger all over her face. "Have a nice time failing the test tomorrow" she said, getting up from the table once again- except this time…I didn't hold her back. I wasn't making no apology. The nigga she was dating was lame as fuck and I knew she was trying to make me jealous, so I had to snap her ass back into reality.

I was sitting to the back of the library, where nobody was around and decided to text Zoey to meet me there since Cindy bailed on a nigga.

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><p>Zoey Anderson- POV<p>

Usually I'm in the library at lunch time, reading a book or doing homework, but today was a change of plans. I had a test that I needed to finish, which caused me to stay in 5th period a little longer than usual. Minutes later I finally finished, walking out with satisfactory because I knew I did well on my test. I went to my locker afterwards, so I could put up my 5th period books and get what I needed for my 6th period art class. As I opened my locker I saw a folded sheet of paper. I didn't remember using any paper or folding it up, so out of curiosity...I decided to see what it was. I regretted that decision. "Not this again" I said to myself in a low tone. The note read the words: Dear devil worshiping whore, You are not welcomed to this school. You are a freak, a nobody and hardly anyone knows you exist- do us all a favor and just kill yourself-sincerely, the whole school.

I took a deep breath and put the note in my bag. I refused to let this ignorance get to me. Even though I wanted to get my razor and cut myself so badly like the last time-I decided to fight the urge.

I checked my phone to see what time it was and noticed I got a text message from Riley 10 minutes ago, telling me to meet him in the library.

When I arrived there, I spotted him sitting at the back of the library, flipping through pages of a book. I took a seat at his table, sitting across from him. "So what's going on?" I asked in a dull voice. I was still upset about the mysterious note that appeared in my locker.

"Why you sounding all down and shit?" Riley asked.

I became silent, not knowing whether I wanted to tell him what just happened.

"How am I supposed be your friend, but you can't even tell me nothing?" he asked, touching my hand.

I looked down at the table, avoiding eye contact with Riley. "Someone left a mean note in my locker."

"And it must have happened recently because when I got my books for 5th period..there wasn't any note to be found" I said, continuing on.

"Well what did it say?" Riley asked.

I lifted my head up and reached for my bag, pulling out the note. "here..read it for yourself" I said, sliding it over.

I watched him as he read the note and later looked up at me- "Who the fuck would write something like this?" he asked. I could hear the anger in his voice. He seemed more ticked off than I was.

I shrugged my shoulders "I don't know Riley...this is the 2nd time this has happened to me"

"So this shit happened before? Why you didn't say anything?"

"Because no one needs to know- I only told you because you asked and you're my friend-just don't tell anyone about this Riley-it's not a big deal"

"It is a big deal and I'm not no snitch, but I'm sayin..you should try to find out who did this shit- you can't let em get away with it"

Riley had paused for a moment, looking as if he were in deep thought. He folded up the note and put it in his pocket.

"I'll be back.." he said, getting up from the table.

"Where are you going?" I asked, confused.

"Don't worry about it..I'll be back- just stay here"

I watched him as he walked further and further away from the table, making his way to the door. As soon as he left out, I got up and planned on following him…secretly of course. I wanted to see what he was up to. After I made it out of the library, I saw Riley making his move, walking up the hallway. I continued to stay behind, watching him from a distance. He made a right turn to the other side of the hallway and I slowly followed, but decided not to turn right once I heard Riley talking to a girl, who's voice sounded quite familiar.

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><p>Riley Freeman POV<p>

"Just the person I wanted to see." I said, walking towards Cindy. She was making her way down the hall as I was making my way up. When Zoey told me about the hate note that mysteriously got in her locker, it made me think for a minute- It was all a little too coincidental for me.

"and why do you want to see me?" she asked.

"Zoey found a real fucked up note in her locker—you know anything about that?"

Cindy looked at me confused. "I don't have a fuckin clue what you're talking about" she said rolling her eyes. I laughed at her bad acting.

"Okay, maybe this will freshin up your memory" I said, pulling out the note, exposing it right in her face.

"That's not my handwriting." She said, calmly.

"No shit..you probably wrote a different handwriting on purpose—"

"Get that note out of my damn face- I don't have time for this shit" she said, beginning to walk off. I pulled her back quickly.

"Look, we supposed to be friends Cindy..and I got a feeling you lying to me. It's kind of funny how all of sudden when I talk shit about your boyfriend, a note appears in Zoey's locker-all I want to know is if you did it or not- we've been coo since the 3rd grade- you ain't gotta lie to me-we'll still be friends."

She looked at me quietly for a few seconds and then responded.

"I don't fuckin like the bitch-and It's so annoying how you want to be around her-I just don't get it."

"Why are you worried about who I hang with Cindy? You have a boyfriend..so what's the problem?"

"I don't know- It's not like I want you back or anything because I'm so over you, but when you said those things about Kevin..it pissed me off, so I wrote the note."

I looked at her with my arms folded with a scowl expression on my face "That was real fucked up Cindy"

She sighed heavily with a guilty look on her face. "don't be mad at me Riley- I just feel like you could do better than some Devil worshiping bitch..."

"How can you call her that when you don't even know her?"

"Yeah, you don't even know me" a voice said, coming towards us. Me and Cindy both turned our heads and saw Zoey. She looked angry, but in a calm way. She walked towards Cindy looking at her face to face.

"You are a pathetic human being. How could you write a note like that?" Zoey asked calmly.

Zoey's voice became more stronger as she continued on.

"Do you know where I live? Are you in my fucking house? Are you fucking psychic?- because you damn sure act like you know it all—and for your fucking information- lets get this shit crystal clear…I don't worship the devil and just because a person dresses in black, doesn't mean they're a Satanist—read a book sweetheart and learn something for once in your sorry life"

After that, Zoey began to walk off, but quickly stopped and turned around. "Riley- I forgot to mention that my mother said you can come over Saturday- so I'll see you there?" she asked.

I nodded my head "fuckin right I'll be there"

"Good" she said, walking off. I turned to look at Cindy, who's face was red as fuck. She was obviously pissed off. "damn, she really made you mad huh?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes at my question. "I could have fucked that girl up easily. I'm just trying to be a good friend to you.—you know what I'm sayin? I couldn't have your bitch looking all bloody with no teeth and shit"

* * *

><p>Zoey Anderson-POV<p>

Relaxation is what I needed after my crazy day of school. I just wanted to lay in bed all day and never get up. Once I made it home, I went straight up the stairs to my room and plopped down on my bed, feeling relieved to be away from school, away from the ignorance that I had to deal with on a daily basis. I was getting so sick of this unnecessary drama. I was still thinking about the note Cindy put in my locker until I thought to myself *Maybe I should try something different besides wearing black all the time—maybe then, people will get off my fucking case*

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of my cell phone ringing.

"Yeah?" I asked, answering phone. I knew it was Riley from the caller ID.

"I just wanted to check on you and make sure you was alright.-so you good?" he asked

I made a deep sigh and then answered "..yeah- im fine. I just think I'm ready to change"

"Change like what?" he asked curiously

"I don't know…maybe get a new wardrobe, so people can get the fuck off my case and stop calling me a devil worshiper"

"sounds coo to me- we can go to the mall together…I could help you pick some shit out"

"No offense Riley, but you're the last person I need styling tips from"

"Whatchu talking bout? – I stay clean."

I laughed at his statement. "yeah- your style fits you, but I need something that's me-" I said, playing with my hair

"I'll help you find what you need, just so I can spend some time with you"

I became silent for a minute thinking to myself. I couldn't believe what Riley had said. It still seemed weird having someone care and actually want to be around you. With years of mental abuse from my father, I thought I would never find a guy who actually cared about me. Feeling ugly and worthless for many years just doesn't fade away that easily.

Author- I was going to add more, but then it would have been a really ridiculously long chapter- so until next time. Thanks once again, leave reviews please =D


	8. The Disaster Date

Authors Note: Oh my gosh- first off, thanks for those reviews-they're HIGHLY appreciated and keep me going. I really wanted to update the next day after I posted the last chapter, but I kept deleting stuff and writing it again and then deleting it again. I'm very picky about the stuff I type, but I will definitely try to update the next Chapters more frequently –also—just to let you know in case you're not familiar ,CREEPERS are an actual shoe.—au revoir

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><p>Riley would be at my house in two hours and I had yet to find an outfit to wear for the evening. We planned on going to the movies together after he met my mother. I was ecstatic about the whole idea because I've never been on a date before and the last time I went to the movies, was at the age of 10. I looked through my closet, still dissatisfied with my options until I came across a mid thigh length long sleeved black dress. I bought it months ago and never thought about wearing it...until now.<p>

I grabbed two pairs of shoes from the bottom of my closet and headed downstairs to the living room. I wanted to ask my mom for a little style advice. After making it down the stairs, I saw my mother on the couch, drinking her tea. It was her usual routine on her days off from work. I walked in front of the TV, holding both pairs of shoes up, letting her take a good look at them.

"Okay-sooo what shoes do you think I should wear? The black platform boots or the black creepers?" I asked

She took a sip of her tea and answered "I think you should go with the creepers..The black boots cut off length to your legs while the creepers has the platform, but still gives your legs a nice length"

I nodded my head, agreeing with her decision. "cool- but what about the dress? It isn't too slutty is it?" I asked, feeling slightly self-conscious.

She shook her head and laughed. "Of course not Zoey. It's nice to see you in something other than pants all the time—now if only we could get you to wear something other than black…"

I shrugged my shoulders and laughed "..maybe—you might just get your wish"

She looked at me and smiled, changing the subject. "I can't believe you're going on a date. This guy has to be a sweetheart because I haven't seen you smile like this in a while"

I nodded my head "yeah—he's nice, but he's definitely quite a character"

She nodded her head and smiled "Yeah, that's sweet, but can you move from in front of the TV? I'm missing my movie"

I laughed and moved to side. "oh, sorry...I'll just go back upstairs and finish getting ready."

* * *

><p>Riley Freeman- POV<p>

I had a 150 dollars saved up for me and Zoey to go to the movies and that might not seem like much, but it was a lot for me because soon as money got in my hand, I was ready to spend it. Luckily I started taking my brother's advice about saving up cash. I thought it was about time for me and Zoey to start doing a little more than just chillin by each other's houses.

I threw on a black tee, black hooded jacket, with some blue jeans and timbs. I went down the stairs to let Huey know I was ready to leave. I saw him on the couch reading one of his books. I swear this nigga's life was boring as fuck. All this nigga did was read..

"Aye, Huey..it's time for me to go"

He continued to look down in his book, acting as if he was too busy that he couldn't respond. As much as I wanted to curse this nigga out, I remained calm because he was my ride to Zoey's house.

"Huey..I know you heard me, nigga"

He closed his book, putting it on the coffee table. "Do you have my money?" he asked seriously

I raised my eyebrow at his question "Nigga what?—what money you talkin bout?"

"The gas money you'll be paying me for this ride of yours"

I looked at him and laughed. " Pssh, nigga you trippin"

He continued to give me one of his serious stares. Dude didn't even blink an eye.

"I guess you'll be getting a cab to Zoey's house? And you know they'll charge way more right?"

"Man ,how much you want?"

"20 dollars should be good.." he said extending his hand out

I sighed heavily, giving him a 20 dollar bill from my pocket. "I swear you be actin like a bitch sometimes"

We later on made it out of the house, on the way to Zoey's place.

* * *

><p>Zoey Anderson-POV<p>

I stood in my mirror while putting on a little mascara. It was the only makeup I used since I knew Riley preferred me fresh faced. I added on my choker necklace to finish off my look. A few minutes later I heard the doorbell ring and quickly jotted down the stairs, making my way into the living room. I saw my mother about to make her way for the door.

"I'll get it mom" I said, walking pass her. I opened the door and saw Riley with his hands in his pocket.

"Wassup?" he asked in a calm manner.

I quickly responded. "Hey... I need you to take your hands out of your pockets- that kind of annoys my mom"

"Alright" he said, taking both hands out. "Can I come in now?"

"Sure" I said with a smile.

I grabbed his hand, leading him to my mother, who was standing near the couch. She put on her fake smile and gave Riley a slight wave. I knew her oh so well and this was a smile she gave to people that she was not impressed with.

"Mom, this is Riley-Riley this is my mother"

Riley shook her hand. I noticed him admiring her figure as well.

"Wassup Mrs. Anderson- I have to say, I can see where Zoey gets her looks from- and you must stay in the gym too huh?-cause that body is a killer."

"Well, I do try to workout at least four times a week-but enough about me, I want to know more about you Riley"

Riley took a seat on the couch, leaning back a bit " Ask away- It's coo with me…you know I've been interrogated before"

A look of concern appeared on my mother's face. "What for?" she asked curiously

"Man, they wanted me to snitch, but I was like forget that. I ain't see nothin you feel me?"

I turned my head to the side, a little embarrassed of his answer, while my mother continued on asking questions.

"So, when did this happen?" My mother asked, still curious.

"Way back when I was 8 years old" Riley replied nonchalantly.

My mother looked at me with a slight aggravated look on her face. It's like I could read her mind. I knew exactly what she was thinking, which was probably "what the hell has Zoey brought in my house?", but I knew in time she would warm up to him.

"Mom, it's nothing you need to worry about. It's all in the past…right Riley?"

"..Yeah, you have nothin to worry about and I know what you're thinking too" Riley answered.

"Oh really?" my mother asked with her arms folded.

Riley nodded his head- "yeah I do-you judge my looks, thinking I might be trouble, but I really like Zoey and have no intentions on being a bad influence to your daughter."

I quickly agreed with Riley's statement before my mother had the chance to speak.

"Yeah mom, If people would stop judging a person based on their looks, I would probably have more than just one friend.."

She made a light sigh and walked towards the coffee table to get her keys.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm just grateful enough that you have a friend Zoey." She replied.

"Are you guys ready to go?" My mother asked "It's 4:00 and the movie starts around five, so we should probably get going" she said, continuing on.

"Yeah..sounds good to me" I said, making my way to the door. Riley followed behind.

We arrived at the movies 25 minutes later. As soon as my mother drove off, I noticed Riley staring at me, but he wasn't looking at my face.

"Um, what are you looking at?" I asked

He gave me a slight smile. "I'm just admiring that ass- looks real nice in that dress..I couldn't say that shit while your mom was around."

I rolled my eyes. "I hate my ass.."

"Seems like you hate everything about yourself.." Riley replied

"I do…I'm just learning to live with it"

He pulled me over closer to him "Give me a few months and I'll have you loving everything about yourself"

I smiled at his reply. "I'd love to see you do that" I said while looking into his eyes. He leaned over to kiss me. It was short and sweet, lasting just a few seconds.

"We better go inside…I don't want to miss the movie" I said breaking our kiss. We finally made it inside the movie theater. After we got our tickets, Riley wanted to stop and get something to eat, so we headed over to the concession stand.

"You want anything?" Riley asked. I thought about it for a few seconds. "no thanks-I'll just share with you.."

Unfortunately Riley ordered a large bag of popcorn, a bag of Skittles and a bag of M&Ms with a large Coke. I looked at him in disbelief. "He couldn't possibly eat all that junk" I thought to myself while looking at his slender frame. A slight jealousy came over me-Jealous of the fact that he can eat this junk and not gain one pound. I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Riley call my name.

"Aye Zoey..can you put some butter on this popcorn while I wait for my drink" Riley asked, pointing to a section that had condiments on the other side.

"Are you sure you want extra butter?" I asked. "Seems like there's enough already"

"Nah, I like my shit with extra"

I grabbed the popcorn, making my way to the condiments section. As I was about to put some fatty butter over Riley's popcorn, I heard a familiar voice call my name. A voice I hadn't heard in quite a while.

"Zoey..Zoey is that you?" The familiar voiced asked. I turned around to see my one of my old classmates, Bradley Cooper, but everyone called him Brad. He had curly dark brown hair and brown eyes to match. Brad was quite popular in middle school, while I was the weird fat loner girl who had no friends.

After my surprised reaction, I finally got the courage to speak. " ….hey Brad" I said in a shy voice. He walked a little closer to me. "Wow, Zoey…you look great, if it wasn't for that pretty face of yours, I would have hardly recognized you.". A confused expression formed across my face.

"Pretty? You hardly ever talked to me"

"Yeah, but I always thought you were pretty and you look even better now- what did you lose? 30? 40 pounds?"

I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't know whether to take his comment as a compliment or to be offended. He continued to smile in my face, trying to keep the conversation going. I looked over at Riley, who was still waiting on his drink. I decided to try to cut this conversation short, before Riley came over.

"Look..it was nice talking to you, but I have to-"

"Wait, I would love to talk to you more..can I get your number at least?" he asked, taking out his cell phone. I thought about it for a few seconds. I was a little skeptical about it at first, but then I realized there's no harm in just talking to someone over the phone.

"- my number is-"

"Zoey! Does it take you that long to butter some popcorn?" Riley asked walking towards me. Bradley stood there observing.

"…It took you that long to wait on a drink?" I asked

"Yeah, cause the bitch gave me a large Sprite. I told the ho she gave me the wrong drink and she got a fucking attitude, so I was waiting for my shit."

Riley grabbed my hand. "Come on let's go" he said, trying to lead me away. I but I quickly stopped him.

"Wait, Riley, I was talking to someone- this is Bradley..my old classmate from middle school"

"Oh, I ain't even see that nigga over there"

I gave him a look of disbelief. Bradley was pretty close, so I knew he saw him standing there. Either that or he had terrible fucking vision.

"Is this your boyfriend?" Bradley asked.

"No..just friends" I replied. I could see Riley giving me a pissed off look from the corner of my eye.

Bradley looked at Riley and then back at me.

"Well, I don't want to make you late for your movie, so you can just email me at bradleyc00per28(dot whatever)the O's in Cooper are used with zeros instead of the letter o"

I nodded my head and smiled. I also knew that the 28 in his email address represented his jersey number from the soccer team in middle school.

"Okay..I guess I'll talk to you later" Bradley said, walking off. I waved goodbye. I could still see Riley giving me one of his mean stares. I turned around to acknowledge him.

"Is there a problem?" I asked

He snatched the bag of popcorn from my hand. "Nah, no problem at all" he said, walking off. I took a deep breath for a second and later on followed behind him.

"Riley, what's your problem?" I asked, finally catching up to him, our bodies side by side as we stood in the hall of the theater.

"Why you all on that nigga dick?" he asked with a face full of frustration.

My eyes widened by his question. "..excuse me? He's my old classmate. We went to school together"

Riley made a slight laugh and shook his head from side to side with his anger still present on his face. "look, you're a smart girl Zoey, so stop actin like you fuckin stupid alright?- you know what I'm talkin about.

I thought about it for a few seconds. "…..Is it because I said we were just friends?"

"See? I knew you were smart" he, replied

"I don't get it Riley- we are just friends, how can you be mad at me for being honest?"

"We're not just friends Zoey."

" …then what are we?" I asked curiously.

"I don't fuckin know, but we're not just friends."

"I don't know what kind of category you're trying to put me in Riley, but it doesn't work like that. We are friends and you have no right to be mad at me and I'm not going to entertain your ignorance anymore. "

"I'm going to watch the movie, even if I have to watch it by myself" I said, walking off.

I heard him mumble the words "whatever", but I ignored it as I walked into the movie. I had sat by myself for quite a few minutes, but I later on noticed someone taking a sit next to me. It was Riley. He remained quiet, not saying a word, while I thought to myself how horrible this day was going. I had a tiny ounce of hope that maybe it will turn around..

An hour and 30 minutes later, the movie was over. We walked side by side out of the movie theater and had yet spoken to each other. Riley decided to lean against a wall as we waited for my mother to arrive. I decided to stand next him, while thinking this silent treatment thing was beginning to get childish. I decided to make small conversation.

"I texted my mom-she should be here in about 30 minutes"

"Good.." he said, reaching in his pocket. I continued to look down to see what he was pulling out. It was a cigarette and a lighter. He brought it to his mouth, lighting the cigarette.

A surprised look appeared on my face.

"You smoke cigarettes?.."

He looked at me annoyed. "Are you blind?"

I rolled my eyes and ignored his question. "Cigarettes are disgusting" I replied

He blew smoke from out of his nose and responded. "Well, I'm sorry I'm not fuckin perfect..maybe your friend Billy might be a better match for you"

"It's Bradley…" I responded, in an aggravated tone.

"What the fuck ever"

I shook my head in disgust "well, I'm not going to continue to inhale your second hand smoke" I said while walking off. I stood about 12 feet away from him and ran both hands through my hair while sighing of aggravation. This is the time that I wished I had more than one friend, someone I could vent to and tell them how awful my day was going. I could easily tell my mom about this, but it would just make her dislike Riley even more, so my idea was to pretend like this never happened once this day was over.

I glanced over at Riley, who was still smoking his cancer stick as I like to call it. I noticed him watching me as well. A few minutes later he put his cigarette out. He must have been keeping up with the time because 10 minutes later, my mother had arrived. The car ride was awkward and extremely silent. After my mom dropped Riley off at his house, she couldn't wait to ask me questions while we were still in the car

"So um- I couldn't help but notice you guys were kind of quiet. Did everything go well?" my mother asked.

I nodded my head. "Yeah ..everything was good" I said, fidgeting with my hair.

She turned her head towards me. "Are you sure?...because it seemed like a lot of tension in this car"

I sighed of annoyance. "Yes mom, I'm sure we had a good time…a great time- it was wonderful"

She turned her head back around, paying attention to the road, but still continued on talking. "You know another thing I noticed? It kind of smelled like cigarettes in here. Does he smoke?"

"Ugh, of course not mom- there was some lady smoking a cigarette next to us; The smoke must have lingered or something."

"To be honest Zoey, I'm not really fond of Roscoe…He just doesn't seem like a good friend for you"

"His name is Riley and it shouldn't matter if you like him or not..he's not your friend- he's mine. Like I said before, he's a good person"

"Well, he looks like damn hoodlum in those oversized clothes and don't even get me started on those long braids –they need to go"

I rolled my eyes and turned my head to side, looking out of the window as I tried to tune out my mother's nonsense.

* * *

><p>Riley Freeman- POV<p>

When I made it home, I went straight upstairs to my room. I ain't feel like playing no games or watching TV. I just wanted to relax, chill out and think for a bit. I went through the pile of clothes on my floor and changed into some sweatpants and a wifebeater. A few minutes later Huey walked in the room.

"Where you was at nigga?" I asked, taking a seat on my bed. I laid down and put my hands behind my head.

"I was in the garage.."

"oh –you was working on some stupid shit that's gonna save the world right?"

He ignored my question, taking a seat by the computer. "So how was your date with Zoey?"

"Man- don't even get me started on that bullshit.."

He turned his computer chair around, facing towards me. "What do you mean by that?" he asked.

"I saw Zoey talking to some nigga. She was smiling in his face and shit… and this was before we even looked at the movie, so the date was fucked up from the beginning.."

"Well it wasn't like a boyfriend and girlfriend date- you guys went as friends. Am I right?"

"….i guess"

"So you had no reason to be upset with her"

I turned my head to side to avoid looking at Huey's face. "I just feel like she dissed me man and that shit wasn't cool. She knows I got a thing for her and I know she got a thing for me—so why be all up in some other nigga's face when I paid for the fucking movie?—she should be on my dick- not his..you feel me?"

"I'm pretty sure you're overreacting…you always do" Huey responded

He continued on with his lecture. "I mean, if you really like her then you should take it to the next level. Let her know how you really feel and stop hiding behind anger. It's going to get you nowhere."

I looked back towards Huey. "So why don't you tell Jazmine how you really feel? You been playin that friend card for years."

"…that's …that's different"

"Nigga, you need to stop actin like you ain't feeling her because everybody know your dick got reserved for Jazmine written all over it. You ain't foolin nobody."

"Man, whatever"

I laughed while getting off the bed. "See nigga..you can't even deny it"

I went back to my pile of clothes to the get my cell phone out of my jean pocket. I finally came to my senses and realized I had to talk to Zoey and apologize for the way I acted. There was no way I could stay mad at her, but hopefully she wouldn't stay mad with me.

Author's note: okay guys-don't forgive to give me some inspiration aka reviews- they keep me going.


	9. An Epiphany

_Authors Note: Once again, I appreciate the reviews dearly. This chapter kind of lets you know why Zoey is so messed up, but the next chapter will be focused on Riley, Zoey, Cindy, Bradley..style changes, personality changes- and much more okay?- I'll let you get to the chapter now._

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><p>Riley Freeman- POV<p>

I decided to go downstairs and make a call to Zoey. Luckily, I had the living room all to myself, so I didn't have to worry about anyone being in my business. I dialed Zoey's cell which continuously ringed over and over again. I knew she was probably avoiding me on purpose. I couldn't be mad at her for it…I guess I deserved it. I tried to call at least three more times and still no answer, so I decided to leave her voicemail, expecting her to listen and then maybe she'll call me back.

*The Day after Next*

It was lunchtime and I decided to skip the cafeteria since I hadn't run into Zoey since I got to school. I had a feeling she was still upset about the whole movie thing that went down on Saturday, because she had yet to answer my calls. I even texted her ass in 3rd period and still got no answer, so obviously communicating through technology wasn't gonna get it. I had to talk to her ass up close and personal- there's no way she could ignore me then. I decided to check the library since that was her everyday spot to hang and of course, I made the right decision. I noticed her sitting at the computer section and decided to take a seat by the computer next to her.

I knew her ass saw me sitting there, but she wanted to act like she didn't notice, continuing to type on her keyboard. I decided to touch her hair and started playing with her curls. She quickly turned her head around.

"What do you want?" She asked with an annoyed look on her face.

"I just wanted to apologize...about the way I acted Saturday.."

She nodded her head and turned back facing the computer. "Yeah okay...apology accepted"

"Your acceptance doesn't seem very sincere…" I replied.

She turned around towards me "well it is-now can you please go? I'm busy and need to concentrate on my work."

I glanced over at her computer screen. "That ain't no damn work…you on a fashion website"

"Yeah, so I lied...I just really want to be myself Riley- okay?

I couldn't hold back the aggravated expression that appeared on my face. Zoey was trippin too hard off this shit. I decided to take her advice.

"Fine...I'm out" I said, getting up from the chair. I made my way out of the library and decided to go to cafeteria.

* * *

><p>Zoey Anderson-POV<p>

Since I was done with all of my work from school, I decided to go down to the basement, and work on a painting. Whenever I felt a little down or stressed, I always went down there. It was filled with all of my art supplies and paintings from middle school till now. I like to call it my mini art studio, which was like a sense of security for me. I continued to stroke my paint brush against the canvas, but I stopped when I heard the door bell ring. "Must be a visitor for my mom" I said to myself, quickly brushing off the thought. I continued on painting, but I was disturbed once again. This time it was my mother loudly calling my name. I went up the stairs, making my way to the living room to see what she wanted.

Surprisingly I saw Riley sitting on the couch with flowers in his hand with a card. I looked at my mom with a confused look.

"Mom..what's going on?"

"I was going to ask you the same question" she said while eying the flowers in Riley's hand.

Riley stood up and walked towards me, handing me the flowers and the card that read the words "sorry" on the front.

"..you didn't have to do this Riley"

"Yeah..I know didn't have to, but I wanted to… I guess what I'm trying to say is…."

I waited for him to get his answer out, but he seemed hesitant to speak.

"…What are you trying to say Riley?"

"I'm saying.. I want you to be with me—not anyone else"

I looked at Riley and then over to my mom, who was very much into our conversation. I didn't feel comfortable talking about this in front of my mother, especially since this was so unexpected.

"Mom, can I talk to Riley alone...in the basement?"

A puzzled look appeared on my mother's face. "Why do you need to bring him to the basement?—Why not the kitchen?"

I let out a light sigh. "Mom, you know my artwork is in the basement...I just wanted to show Riley some of my work..and have a little chat- that's all"

She rolled her eyes, giving a slightly annoyed expression. "You got 12 minutes, if you exceed that time, I'm coming down there"

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><p>Riley Freeman- POV<p>

My head was full of confusion as Zoey brought me down to her basement. I wondered to myself "Why couldn't she answer me in front of her mom?" "Why would she take me down here?" "Was I an embarrassment to her?" – So many questions had entered my mind as we made our way down to the end of the stairs. I saw a bunch of paintings. They were dark and a little creepy looking, but I tried to ignore it, bringing my attention back to Zoey.

"Yo, why you didn't answer me when I told you I wanted to be with you?"

I watched her as she took a seat on a wooden chair, putting her head down. "You don't want to be with me Riley…trust me, you could do so much better"

I walked over to Zoey and kneeled down by her chair. "Why do you talk down on yourself all the time? I don't get it.. I know you got low self esteem, but damn—you telling me you don't like not one thing about yourself?.."

"No, I don't…" She replied, getting up from her chair. I watched her walk over to a box that sat next to a pile of old junk- or least that's what it looked like to me.

"Whatchu doin?" I asked as she rambled through the box. She didn't answer, but I noticed her grabbing some pictures, which made me more curious.

I took a seat in her chair as she walked over to me.

"Well, thanks for taking my seat" she said, sarcastically.

"You could sit right here" I said, patting my lap. "what? You weigh like 20 pounds right?"

She laughed and playfully hit me. "Shut up, Riley"

She sat on my lap and showed me an old picture of herself, her mother, and some white dude.

"Is that your dad?" I asked

She nodded her head "Yeah..that's him"

"Luckily you got your looks from your mom.." I replied jokingly, trying give her another laugh, but she ignored my response.

"—It's okay for you to say it Riley.."

"Say what?"

"Let's not play dumb okay? I know you realize that I'm like 30 pounds bigger in that picture."

I looked at the picture for a few seconds "I mean..you wasn't fat..just thick and you still look good to me"

"I guess my father thought differently" She replied sadly.

"What you mean by that?" I asked.

"I mean he was an asshole. His attitude was just bitter all the time and I honestly didn't understand why mother was with him, but she said he was different …before they were married."

She got off my lap and started pacing back and forth.

"I can honestly admit my father wasn't that bad, until he started drinking…then he became verbally abusive towards me and my mother"

"What kind of shit would he say?" I asked curiously

"He would call my mom the N word when he would get upset, he talked about my weight constantly, called me names saying no one would want me because I was a mutt."

She paused for a few seconds and looked up to the ceiling, as if she wanted to cry, but she held back her tears.

"Mutt..that's what he always called me.."

"So, where is your father?"

"He's dead and I could fucking care less. My mother still loves him till this day- If it wasn't for her, I would have thrown those pictures of him in the trash a long time ago, but she insists on keeping them"

"For me, they just bring back fucked up memories.." She said, continuing on

I got up and walked over to her, placing both hands on her shoulders. I saw the sadness in her eyes while she talked about him.

"On some real shit Zoey..You gotta learn how to forgive—forgive and forget"

She shook her head from side to side. "I can't forget….I'll never forget"

"Well, at least try to move on…He's dead now-leave the past in the past. Trust me Zoey, The sooner you let this go, the sooner you can stop hurting your self- mentally and physically."

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know if I can do that Riley…"

I sighed heavily, slightly annoyed by her response. "See? There you go doing it again, putting yourself down all the time-

"Well, I can't help it. This is how am; what do what me to do?"

"I want you to let that shit go- Your father is dead and gone. You shouldn't be hurting yourself because of him. It ain't fucking worth it.."

The conversation came to an end when we heard Zoey's mom call her name. We went back up to the living room and saw her mother sitting on the couch with her arms folded and her legs crossed. By the look on her face, I had a strong feeling she didn't like me too much,

"Well, Im bout to be out. I gotta get home" I said ,making my way to the door. I looked back towards Zoey, who was looking at me as well.

"Remember Zoey...forgive and forget"

I left out after saying those few words and made my way back home before granddad started trippin.

* * *

><p>Zoey Anderson – POV<p>

I appreciated Riley's concern for me, telling me to try and let go of my past, but I wish he wouldn't have said those last words before leaving the house. As soon as Riley left, my mother couldn't wait to get into my business. I tried to quickly leave out of the living room and make my way up the stairs, but she quickly stopped me.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked.

I pointed towards the stairs. "To my room.."

"Not until you tell me what the hell he's talking about and what's with him talking about wanting to be with you?"

"Is he serious?" she asked, adding on a slight laughter afterwards

"Yes, he's very serious- Is there a problem with that mother?"

"Sweetheart, I always thought you would get a boyfriend in high school, but I NEVER imagined him to be like…what's his name again?"

I ignored her last question, letting her continue on.

"I hope you don't think you're actually going to date him"

"….I didn't even make a decision yet" I replied

"I'm sorry, but you have no decision sweetheart"

A mixture of annoyance and confusion appeared on my face.

"What? – Are you seriously going to tell me who I can and cannot date?"

"I'm sorry Zoey, but I just have a bad feeling about him. It's just a mother's intuition"

"I can't believe you're judging him like this- Riley was the only person who actually took the chance to get to know me and yet you continuously talk down on him"

I turned around and was about to make my way towards the stairs, but decided to turn back around instead.

"Mom, the last thing you should do is judge. You chose a man who you thought was your prince in shining armor, but all he turned out to be was a worthless DRUNK who could care less about you or me.

She stood up from the couch, her face covered with anger as she walked towards me.

"HOW DARE YOU?" She asked, raising her voice.

My blood boiled with anger.

"How dare me? – How dare him, mom?- how dare him for talking down on his wife, calling her names? – how dare him for thinking alcohol would solve his problems and how dare him for talking down on his daughter by calling her fat, ugly, worthless, mutt- should I go further mom?."

I waited for her answer, but she didn't respond, just looked at me silently. Since she didn't have anything to say, I decided to continue on.

"You think you know it all, but you don't." I said, calmly with my arms folded. I shook my head from side to side and took a deep breath.

"You think I lost that weight in 8th grade because I was hitting puberty? Well you're wrong- I starved myself. I starved and starved and starved. You think I wear long sleeve shirts all time because I don't like my arms? – well you're wrong again- I cut myself ..and I hide my scars with these sleeves-I cut and cut and cut"

"I do this because of him- your prince charming." I said, referring to my father.

"Riley was just trying to talk some sense into my head, telling me to forgive and move on—but I guess he's a bad person for that huh?-If you want me to stop hanging with riley – then fine, go ahead and take the one friend I have that actually gives a damn about me"

I started to breathe heavily while looking at my mother. It was my anxiety kicking in. I waited for her to respond to me, but all she did was put her hand on her mouth, turned around and began to cry. She didn't know my father was calling me names. She didn't know that puberty was not the cause of my weight loss and she didn't know that hiding scars was the reason for me wearing sleeves all of the time. She didn't know all this time that my father was the cause of my pain. I guess she felt embarrassed because she was so clueless about the whole situation. I turned back around and went upstairs to my room.

As I went in my bedroom, I looked at myself in the mirror, thinking to myself that I didn't want to be this girl anymore. I refused to drown myself in sorrows any longer. I was so deep into my thoughts, that I was slightly startled when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. It was my mother. I noticed her eyes were red from crying.

"Mom..I'm sorry for-"

She quickly stopped me. "No…You don't have to say anything. I just came to tell you that my friend knows this wonderful therapist. She's great with teens; she's going to help you through this."

My facial expression was far from ecstatic. Even though therapists were a good thing, I didn't like the idea of me talking about my private life to some stranger.

"….you're getting me counseling?" I asked in a disappointed voice.

"Yes Zoey..you need it. I refuse to let this get out of control. You're too young to be hurting yourself like this—you're getting a therapist and that's final-you're going to be taking a little break from your friend as well"

She shook her head with disappointment. "This is just too much for me to handle right now"

"—I think I need to lay down" She said, making her way out of my room.

I decided to text Riley and let him know about my mother's decision.

Authors Note- Brain dead- I have to stop here. If you want more, just leave reviews because they make smile =)


	10. Changes

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: PLEASE READ:**

**Okay, if there are any old readers reading this, I just want to apologize for my long absence. I had a looot of stuff going on and now I plan on making regular updates. If anyone has forgotten where this story left off- here's a few quick things to refresh your memory -**

**Riley asked Zoey to be with him in the last chapter.**

**Zoey's mom pretty much hates Riley and refuses to let her see him outside of school.**

**Zoey confesses her secrets to her mother.**

**Zoey will be getting a therapist.**

**There will be a new character coming into the next chapter (Jessica)**

**Also, sorry that my dialogue is ridiculously long and this chapter is pretty long, but I was trying to make up for my absence.**

_**There is so many chapters that I have to add- I mean a looot. This story is far from over, but I need reviews, so if anyone is reading please review because it lets me know that my story doesn't suck ass.**_

* * *

><p>Art class had recently ended. We finally presented our projects that we were assigned weeks ago and even though we had the partner switch up, it turned out quite well for the both of us. Later on, after 6th period ended, I made my way out of the classroom and decided to wait for Riley. Last night when I tried to reach him, his phone went straight to voice mail, leaving me unable to tell him the bad news. After watching six other students walk out the classroom, I finally spotted Riley, who quickly noticed me standing by the wall.<p>

"Wassup?" He asked walking over to me.

"I sent you a text last night, but you didn't reply…" I responded, waiting for his answer.

"Oh, my bad. My cell phone went dead last night.. I forgot to charge it. So, what's going on?"

I let out a deep sigh before explaining myself. "My mother said...I can't be friends with you anymore; she thinks you're a bad influence"

He let out a light laugh. "What a surprise" he said, sarcastically.

"So, you're not upset…?" I asked.

"Nah, why would I be? She's just looking out for you. Plus I'm still gonna see you whether she wants me to or not.."

"You mean at school, right?"

He shook his head. "No, I mean I'll see you whenever. Whether it's at school, my house, or your house"

My face quickly changed from normal to confused. "Okay, so did you not just hear what I said about my mother not wanting me to see you?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to listen, right? There's plenty of ways to still see each other."

"..and how is that?" I questioned.

"You see Zoey, there's this thing called lying. It helps you get away with shit"

I laughed and playfully pushed him. "You don't have to be a smart ass". I paused for a moment and thought to myself **"how in the world was I going to lie to my mother?"** The only thing I knew was how to hide secrets; secrets were easy to hide because you didn't have to say one word. Speaking wasn't necessary, just silence.

"Riley, I don't think I can do this. I'm just not good with lying."

"Trust me Zoey. It's not that hard—shit, I do it all the time with my granddad."

"It still doesn't make it right" I muttered beneath my breath.

"Okay Miss goody two shoes—you have any bright ideas?" He asked.

I stood there quietly for a second, trying to think of a plan, but I had nothing. "I…I can't think of anything"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I thought." he boasted. "Now here's my plan.." he said rubbing his hands together. "All you have to do is tell your mom you're meeting a friend at the Woodcrest fair…Friday evening"

I stood there, waiting for more words to come from his mouth, but there was nothing else for him to say. I thought there would be more to his _so called_ great plan. I couldn't believe how easy he thought this would be, as if my mother would really fall for that nonsense.

"Is there really going to be a fair?" I asked. I was never up to date with the events that went on around this place.

"Yeah, it starts Friday and ends Sunday. There's gonna be rides, food, and all that good shit"

"—so all you have to do is tell your mom you're meeting a friend and we'll meet up at the fair" He said continuing on.

I shook my head silently, disagreeing with his idea. "It's not that simple, Riley. You don't know my mother like I do. She'll ask me a ton of questions like **who's your friend?** **What's their name?** **When did you meet them?—** This isn't going to work."

"Well, what about Cindy?" he asked. "You can invite her over to your house, introduce her to your mom, and tell her she's your friend."

I laughed at his terrible thought of an idea. "I'll pass on that one." I said rolling my eyes while folding my arms. "I don't want to be bothered with her and I'm sure she doesn't want to be bothered with me."

"Speak of the devil" I muttered as I noticed Cindy walking towards us. She smiled at Riley and then at me.

"Hey Zoey," Cindy waved cheerily. I could almost vomit from her fakeness because it was just that sickening to me. "I have to steal Riley away from you for a bit..gotta ask him something" she said , grabbing on to his arm. Riley turned his head the opposite direction of hers, as if he were annoyed.

"Well, actually I was having a conversation with Zoey" Riley replied.

"Oh, go ahead. It's fine. I have to get to class anyway before the bell rings." I said, walking off. I couldn't stand to be around her another minute.

Later that evening, while at home, I laid in bed, browsing the web on my laptop and decided to send an email to Bradley. I asked him if he wanted to go with me to the Woodcrest fair on Friday as an excuse to see Riley. I wasn't too fond of the idea, but I thought it was worth a shot. Seconds later, after realizing what I had just done, I quickly regretted sending Bradley the email. What if he thought I was some slut just trying to hook up with him or something?—It definitely wasn't my intention. Thirty minutes later, I received an email back from Bradley, telling me that he would love to go. I let out a sigh and smiled of relief. His message seemed genuine, unfortunately, mine wasn't.

I suddenly heard a knock on my door. "Come in" I said, continuing to check my email. My mother walked into the room, looking at me silently.

"Is there something wrong, mom?" I asked curiously.

"No, I just wanted to check on you and see how you were doing."

"I'm fine .You don't have to worry about me cutting myself anymore if that's what you're thinking about."

"What did you eat today?" She asked, walking closer towards me. She then took a seat next to me on the bed.

"Why are you asking me this? I told you I'm fine."

"I know sweetheart, but I still need to know what you ate today."

I sighed heavily, feeling annoyed by her concern. "I ate some oatmeal, an apple, and a salad…"

"That's still not enough calories, Zoey"

"I know mom. I'm trying, but you can't expect me to change within a day"

She didn't reply back to me, just looked at me with her sad eyes. Since she didn't have much to say, I thought to myself that this would be the perfect time to tell her about Bradley.

"Mom, can I go to the Woodcrest fair on Friday with a friend?"

My mother's sad eyes quickly widened and a look of concern appeared on her face. "Who's the friend? I hope you're not talking about that Riley boy."

I shook my head. "No, it's one of my old middle school friends. His name is Bradley Cooper and he asked me if I wanted to go. He said his mom would pick me up and everything, so you'll get a chance to meet him"

"How old is he?" she questioned.

"He's the same age as me. Mom, trust me, you don't have to worry. He's such a gentleman and I totally need to get out of this house and have some fun anyway"

She gave me a slight smile, nodding her head. "Okay, fine, but I want him to pick you up at an early time and I want you back home at 9:30 pm"

"…..Can we just drop it down to 10:00?" I begged

"Do you want me to make it 9:00 instead?" she asked.

"Okay…9:30 it is" I replied

* * *

><p>::Riley Freeman::<p>

Zoey and I sat next to each other while working on some definitions in Art class. Mrs. Abigail decided to let the students partner up for the class assignment. I wasn't paying attention though. I was too busy looking at Zoey, wondering to myself when she was going to answer my question about being with me. I could have easily brought up the conversation, but I didn't feel like being rejected. Maybe I was just good enough to be a friend and nothing more. I watched her as she flipped through pages of her dictionary book, I guess she realized I was watching because she stopped and looked at me with a curious stare.

"Why aren't you looking up your definitions?" she asked, glancing at my notebook, which only had 4 definitions written down compared to her 20.

"We could work on that later. right now, I'm just focused on you." I said, playing with her curly hair. "You know this is the only time I get to see you, since your mom doesn't want me around."

"Well, maybe you'll get to see me on Friday…" she said smiling.

"You mean at the fair?" I asked.

"Yeah, my mom said I could go as long as it wasn't with you.."

"So, you're going by yourself?"

"No, Bradley's taking me…we're just going as friends" she said innocently.

I became disgusted in a matter of seconds by her reply. "You're talkin about that lame nigga that was tryna holla at the movies?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah—him… Like I said before, we're just going as friends. I only asked him to bring me so I could see you…I thought you would be happy about it"

"I am…I just don't understand why you have to bring that lame ass nigga."

"Because my mother will know something is up if I go to the fair by myself. Would you rather me go with Bradley or not go at all?"

"Both of your choices are fucked up, but I guess I'll go with option 1" I replied disappointedly.

* * *

><p>Zoey Anderson ::The Fair::<p>

I paced back and forth through my room in my bra and underwear ; my heart was racing out of anxiety. Bradley would be over here within 40 minutes and I was beginning to regret even asking him to go with me. I walked by my closet and pulled out a grey crochet sweater that my mother bought from French Connection. I decided to pair it with some black shorts, black knee high socks and black doc martens boots. I just wanted to keep it simple. I didn't want Bradley to get the wrong idea about our friendly date. After putting on my effortless outfit, I opted to wear my curly hair in a loose messy bun and headed down the stairs. Of course my mother was already down in the living room, waiting for Bradley to arrive as well. She was more anxious to see him than I was.

"I see you're finally wearing that sweater I bought you" my mother said, smiling.

"Yeah, I'm trying to get out of the whole black wardrobe thing."

Before I could even make another sentence, the doorbell ringed. I just stood there and didn't make a move.

"You're not going to answer the door?" my mother asked curiously.

I shook my head from side to side. "Can you get it please? I'm kind of nervous" I said, taking a few steps further back. I watched as my mother answered the door; I observed the look on her face and could easily tell she was quite fond of his physical appearance by her genuine smile. The fact that he had short curly hair and didn't dress in oversized clothing was a plus for her as well. As Bradley walked further into the house, he looked over at me and smiled.

"You look lovely Zoey"

"Thanks…you look nice too" I replied with a smile, but I was actually thinking of the way Riley would have worded that sentence. "You look Lovely" would have been translated to "You look good as fuck". I chuckled to myself just thinking about it. Bradley didn't pay any mind to my laughter. He thought I was just tickled that he gave me a compliment, which I could honestly care less about.

"So, are you ready to go?" he asked

I nodded my head and looked back towards my mother. "Bye mom, see you at 9:30"

We made our way out of the door and I saw a silver Mercedes sitting outside. It was his mother, waiting patiently for us. "You like the car?" Bradley asked with a smirk on his face.

I paused for a second and then nodded my head. "Yeah...it's nice" I replied blandly. Truthfully speaking, I found Mercedes cars to be overrated and guys who try to impress you with money or vehicles that technically isn't theirs, was an even bigger turn off.

After making it to the fair, my eyes wandered around, observing everything from the rides to the games and the people surrounding them. It was also nice to see family together, enjoying themselves. Unfortunately, I never was one to experience a happy household, I noticed a few teens hugged up on each other. It made me think of Riley. I began looking for him while Bradley kept trying to grab my hand. I would always pull away though and act as if I was fixing my hair. We hadn't got on any rides yet since we had just arrived. I pulled out my cell phone and decided to text Riley to see where he was.

"Wow, you're texting already? I must be really boring" Bradley teased.

I made a slight laugh. "No, I was just letting my mother know I made it to the fair." I said, lying of course.

"Oh, okay…so you wanna go on some rides?" He asked. I looked back down at my phone since I got a quick reply from Riley and then looked back at Brad.

"Um, how about we play some games first? Maybe you can win me a prize?" I asked, giving him a small grin.

"Sweetheart, I'd win more than just a prize for you" said Bradley. He grabbed my hand, leading me to the game section.

As we walked over, I noticed Riley playing one of the basketball games called *Shooting Glory*, but he wasn't alone. It was Cindy standing right next to him, cheering him on as he made every basket. I rolled my eyes in disgust and walked over towards them while Bradley followed behind me.

"Bout time you made it here, I've been thinking bout you all day." Riley, said walking closer to me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me a little closer, giving me a soft kiss on lips. Before I couldn't even speak, Bradley walked towards us. His face was covered with confusion.

"Zoey, what's going on?" Bradley asked agitated. "I thought you and I were on a date?"

Riley began to laugh. "Nah, nigga… You got it all wrong. She's with me"

"I think I can speak for myself, Riley" I said in light tone. I looked towards Bradley and let out a heavy sigh. "Bradley I-I really just—it's kind of hard to explain…you see I just-."

"Obviously, you _**can't**_ speak for yourself" Riley said, interrupting my sentence. "Look, long story short. She doesn't really like you. She just used you to get to me, alright?"

My eyes quickly widened from Riley's rude choice of words. "That's not true…I just wanted to—"

"Just answer this simple question Zoey." Bradley replied in a serious tone. "Did you really use me to see him?" He asked, pointing towards Riley.

I sighed and shook my head. "I'm so Sorry Bradley. I just wanted to—"

"Don't worry about it" Bradley quickly interrupted. "You're here now. You got what you wanted, so I guess I can leave." He said, walking off. I begun to follow him to try and explain, but Riley grabbed my arm, stopping me.

"Just let that nigga go. Huey's here with Jazmine; he can bring you home." Riley said.

"What about my mother?" I asked, nervously pacing around. "She's expecting Bradley's mom to take me home. I'm basically fucked." I responded, putting both hands on my head. I began to panic just thinking about how badly this situation could turn out.

"Don't worry about that." Riley said, rubbing my shoulder. "Let's just try and have a good time, alright? We can think of something later" Riley encouraged, putting his arm around my waist. I looked at Cindy, who was standing a few feet back, observing us from a distance.

"Did you bring Cindy as your date?" I asked in a low tone. I didn't want her to know I was secretly talking about her.

"No, she came with her friends…why? You're jealous or something?" Riley asked.

"…No…I just…..okay, maybe a little bit"

"Well, you have nothing to be jealous about. I only want you…too bad you don't feel the same way"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, giving him a puzzled look.

"I'm talking about me and you being together. It's been days since I asked you to be with me and you're acting like it never happened at all…"

"I'm not acting like it never happened." I said, raising my voice slightly. I toned it down when I got a few stares from people walking pass us. "I just don't know if I'm ready to be in a relationship, just talking about it makes feel weird, Riley."

"Well, you'll never know unless you give it a try…right?" he asked, placing his hand into mine. The look on his face was genuine; I really didn't understand what he saw in me, but I would be a fool to pass up an opportunity like this- I finally met a guy who actually cared about me and thought I was a beautiful person with scars and all, so what was I so afraid off?

"….I want to be with you, Riley" I said awkwardly, waiting for his reply, but he didn't speak. He just looked at me silently as if he were trying to figure something out.

"It doesn't sound like you mean it" He disappointedly replied.

I took a step back and looked at him annoyed. "What do you mean it doesn't sound like I mean it? Of course I mean it." I responded slightly aggravated. "If I didn't want to be with you, I wouldn't have lied to my mother and I wouldn't have bothered coming to this fair."

I quickly turned around and walked off. I was a little pissed and didn't feel like talking anymore. It seemed like this was becoming a routine, having stupid arguments over the smallest things and we weren't even a couple. I decided to take a walk around the fair by myself and ended up sitting down by the food court alone, how ironic? I wasn't alone for too long though, about 10 minutes later, I heard a female voice.

"I found your friend" she said. I knew that annoying voice anywhere. It was Cindy, once again, following behind Riley like a little puppy dog. I sighed, feeling annoyed by her presence. Riley walked towards my table and took a seat across from me, while Cindy stood by the table observing.

Riley turned towards her. "Cindy, can we get a little privacy?" he asked politely. She rolled her eyes and walked away. "So...about what I said earlier…you know I was trippin' right?" Riley asked, with a smirk on his face, but I wasn't in a smiling mood.

"Indeed, you were trippin' I said, while rolling my eyes. "You must have been on your man period or something…"

He looked puzzled by my response and later replied. "Nah, I just really like you and It would be kind of fucked up if you didn't feel the same way, that's all…"

I thought silently to myself _"Yeah…he's definitely on his man period"_

"Well, I do feel the same way, Riley. It's just …I feel that I'll just end up scaring you away with all of my problems." I responded back sadly.

"You don't run from problems; you solve them" He replied, touching my hand. I smiled in the midst of the moment, but was interrupted by a loud rumbling noise in my stomach. I could tell by the look on Riley's face, he heard it as well.

"Are you hungry?" he asked curiously, looking down at my stomach.

"Physically? Yes…Mentally? Not at all" I answered, turning my head to side. I tended to avoid eye contact with people when forced with awkward situations or conversations dealing with things I just didn't feel comfortable talking about.

"Come on, Zoey. You're at a fair and this is just one day, so why not enjoy yourself?"

"When it comes to food…I just can't." I replied in a dull tone with my head down.

"Well, there's no need to look all sad and shit, drowning in your sorrows. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You say you want to change, but you're not even trying."

'I looked back up, giving him eye contact. "I am trying—sorry if it's not enough for you, but maybe you can find some other girl out there that can meet your standards."

"I don't want some other girl." He stated sternly.

I looked at him for a few seconds silently. I believed his thoughts were truly genuine, but he was just a young boy and I was just young girl. Our thoughts could easily change with the slightest action.

"Riley, you're just a 14 year old boy and I'm just a 15 year old girl. You say you don't want some other girl, but in reality, you don't know what you want."

"It's not like that Zoey. The thoughts that go through my mind about you have never happened with any other girl, not even with Cindy and I've known her for years."

My mind fluttered with thoughts as I began to ask another question. "But, what if we …"

"Wait, just hear me out Zoey" Riley said quickly, interrupting me from finishing. "All I'm asking is for you to give us a chance. If it doesn't work out, then fine…break up with me, but if you just—"

I decided to interrupt him with a kiss, which lasted for a while. I didn't need to hear anything else he had to say. My decision was made and my kiss was the answer.

"So, I'll take that as a yes?" he asked.

I nodded my head and smiled.

A few minutes later Riley and I decided to go on the Ferris wheel since I never been on one before or any other kind of rides for that matter. The Ferris wheel was pretty high and I was a little nervous, but I decided to go through with it. Of course Riley and I sat together. I watched as the man began to the pull the lever to start the ride, my heart raced as I began to take a deep breath. I could hear Riley laughing next to me.

"What's so funny?" I asked, turning towards him.

"You're acting like you're getting on a roller coaster or somthing. It's a Ferris wheel Zoey…just relax"

As I was about to reply back, I felt the ride began to move. We began to rise higher and higher by the second. "Just relax" I said to myself in a low voice, trying to calm myself down.

"You want me to help you Relax?" Riley asked.

I looked at him slightly confused. "…I don't think there's any way you can"

"Are you sure about that?" He asked, touching my face softly. Before I could I even answer, his lips were touching mine and with that, we began to kiss. The funny thing is that I actually did forget about everything: the ride, my fear, the people watching us from below. I didn't care; all I cared about was kissing him and I didn't want to stop—that was until I felt Riley's hand rubbing against my inner thigh. I grabbed his hand, placing it back towards him.

"What are you doing?" I asked, slightly baffled by his gesture.

He made a nervous laugh. "Oh, my bad…I guess I just got a little carried away."

As I was about to respond, I heard the sound of two young boys giggling. Riley and I both turned our heads back at the same time, looking up above us. They looked to be around the age of 10.

"Dude, you got REJECTED!" one of the boys said, laughing afterwards. The other young boy joined in, giggling as well.

"Nigga, I know you not tryna play somebody. yo fruity ass on a ferris wheel with another dude. Nigga you gay!" Riley shouted. I made a slight laugh from his response. The little boy didn't answer back. His face was filled with embarrassment.

Riley turned back towards me and laughed. "I think he got the message."

::The Arrival::

It was 9:25 when I pulled up to my house. Luckily Riley's brother was nice enough to take me home . I still sat in the backseat of the car, my heart was beating fast, I thought my mother was going to come out of the house at any moment, but surprisingly, she didn't. "Maybe she fell asleep" I muttered to myself as I grabbed the door handle to the car. Riley tapped my shoulder before I could get out. I looked behind me to see what he wanted "Yeah?" I asked.

"Don't forget to text me and let me know if everything's coo" He said., grabbing my face lightly to pull me in for a kiss. It was nice and quick, The last thing I needed was my mother to see me kissing the boy she despised. Seconds later, I made my way to the door. My heart raced out of fear. Fearing that she could possibly be waiting for me, knowing about what I had done. I took a deep breath, unlocked the door, and prepared myself for the worst. When I walked inside, there was no sign of my mother in the living room. "That's …odd" I said to myself. My mother was always lounging in the living room. I know that after going on my **so called date** with Bradley, she would be waiting for me to get home to tell her all the details. I decided to go upstairs to see if she was in her room. She wasn't there; I checked my room afterwards and she wasn't there either.

After minutes of searching for my mother all over the house, I still didn't find her. I began to get worried, but quickly realized that I forgot to check my art room. I rushed back down the stairs and made my way to the basement.

As I went down the basement stairs, I noticed my mother kneeling down on the floor, putting my paintings and art supplies in boxes.

"Mom, what's going on?" I asked curiously. She jumped,, slightly startled from my appearance.

"Is it 9:30 already?" she asked, looking at her watch.

"9:35 actually" I replied in a dull tone.

My mother rose up from the floor and dusted off her knees. "Oh, I really got carried away with cleaning this basement"

"You mean my art room" I replied back, correcting her. My mother and I had already made a deal that this room would be used for my art and nothing else. I glanced around, noticing the new space from her cleaning. "Why are you cleaning my art room any way?" I asked.

"The funniest thing happened tonight" She responded, walking closer to me. "My sister called me. She got the offer for the job she wanted in New York, but her daughter doesn't want to leave, so I decided to-"

"Please, don't tell me what I think your about to tell me" I said interrupting. I looked at my mother sadly. She looked at me with that "I'm sorry" look on her face. I kind of figured where this conversation was about to end. My Aunt Vanessa is a business woman who always goes for what she wants. She wouldn't let Jessica, my stuck up cousin, get in the way of that. It was either Jessica goes to New York with her mother or….she stays with us.

"You don't have to respond…I already know the answer, mom" I replied disappointedly. "But why does she have to stay in my art room? Why not your office? She could sleep on the floor or something"

"First of all, that office is not big enough for a teenage girl, Zoey. Second of all, my files and other paperwork are in there, which is very important to me."

I looked surprised by her last choice of words. "So, my art isn't important?"

She sighed and shook her head. "Zoey, I'm sorry...I didn't mean it like that"

"Yeah, it's fine. Do whatever you want with this art room…it's not important anyways" I said, making my way back up the steps.

I headed to my room and closed the door behind me. "Why does everything keep getting worse?" I questioned myself silently while leaning on my bedroom door. A few minutes later, I slid down and sat on the floor, reaching for my phone from the pocket of my shorts to text Riley. I told him that everything was fine. My mother wasn't asking me 21 questions yet, so I guess I was in the clear. Minutes later I heard my mother's voice calling my name.

I stood up and opened the door. "Yeah?" I asked in a dull tone.

My mother walked in with her arms folded. "I just wanted to say sorry for my choice of words. Your art is very important to me."

"Yeah, I know you didn't mean it that way, I'm just a little annoyed that Jessica's going to be staying with us, that's all." I replied, plopping down on my bed.

"I know you and Jessica don't have the best relationship, but this is the perfect opportunity to change that" My mother preached.

I shook my head. "No, mom…I can't. She's a cruel person, okay? What kind of cousin makes their own flesh and blood feel like they're not worth anything. All she ever did was talk down on me… ever since we were little kids."

I put both hands on my head as my legs trembled while moving up and down from my nerves. I thought to myself this would be the perfect time to end this conversation, acting as if everything is fine and make a run for the bathroom later to cut into my flesh, but as my thoughts went a little deeper, I realized that there was person in my life that I really cared about and he cared about me. I know he wouldn't want to see me like this. He would probably tell me to stop feeling so sorry for myself, which was exactly what I was doing.

I looked at my mother, who looked at me wordless and confused by my actions. She walked closer to me and took a seat on the bed.

I looked back up towards my mother with the slightest bit of hope in my eyes. "You're right mom. Things might seem bad right now, but I can make the situation get better, right?" I asked.

She smiled at and me and nodded her head. "Of course you can make it better. You're not alone Zoey. I'm always here for you and you know that, so don't be afraid to talk to me."

My mother reached out with open arms for me to hug, I gladly accepted. Her embrace was comforting and for those few minutes, I didn't feel so broken.

* * *

><p>Zoey Anderson::Surprises::<p>

10:00 am, I sat on my couch Indian style, drinking a cup of hot tea and relaxing in my black t-shirt and sweats. It was a boring day for me and I was feeling extremely lonely. I had recently spoken to Riley on the phone earlier, but the conversation wasn't long. He claimed he had some errands to run, so it was just me, myself and _my thoughts _as I sat alonein this empty living room…that was, until I heard a knock on my door. I got up slowly from my couch with my tea still in my hand. I walked towards my window and peeked out of the blinds ,surprised to see Riley standing outside of my door.

"No fucking way" I said to myself as I looked through my window. He was standing outside with a black book sack on his shoulder and a red bike that stood next to him. "I opened the door, still slightly overwhelmed by his appearance.

"Riley, what are you doing here? …you know my mom doesn't want you around" I said, looking around nervously. My mother was gone, but I was paranoid that she would show up out of nowhere.

"Well your mom is at work and doesn't get off until 10:00 pm today, right? What she doesn't know, won't hurt her" He said making his way into the house. He took a seat on my couch, making himself comfortable. "I wanted to surprise you" He said smiling.

"You're not mad, are you?"

"No, I'm glad you came. I was getting kind of lonely anyways." I said ,walking over to him. He gently grabbed my arm, directing me to sit on his lap. Riley still had my arm in his hand, silently looking at the old scars on my lower arm.

"You haven't been _hurting_ yourself anymore, have you?' he asked.

"No…" I replied, pausing for a moment "but I've wanted to at times…really badly"

"I just don't get it. What makes you want to cut yourself?" he questioned.

"I don't know—I guess for those few minutes, I just forget about everything…I don't think about my problems, just the feeling of the razor going through my skin."

He looked at me sadly gently raising my arm that revealed my scars. "Promise me you won't do this to yourself anymore, Zoey"

I turned my head the other way, avoiding eye contact with him. He touched my face, softly, turning it back to his. "Promise me." He ordered.

"I…I can't do that Riley…It's not that simple" I responded dolefully.

He looked at me disappointed by my words and lightly pushed me off his lap. "Where are your razors?" he asked getting up from the couch.

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"Because we're going to get rid of them—it's for the best"

I became silent, thinking about his suggestion. If I were to give up my razors, I would have nothing. My mom already freaked and hid all of the knives in the kitchen. My razors were the only thing I had left, but then again, I was trying to get better…

"So, are you gonna do it or not" Riley asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I got up from the couch and walked towards the stairs. "Follow me" I said, continuing to walk and make my way to my room. He followed behind as I unpleasantly walked to bedroom. I opened the door, and went to my nightstand that stood next to my bed.

I kneeled down and reached underneath the nightstand, pulling out a small ziplocked bag filled with tiny razor blades.

"Is there anymore hidden?" Riley asked.

I got up and gave him the bag. "You sound worse than my mother" I replied jokingly.

"I'm only doing this because I care about you" he said, placing the small ziplock bag in his pocket. He walked closer to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I just want you to get better."

"Eventually, I will…I just have to take it one day at a time" I responded, looking down at my scars in disgust.

Riley lifted my arm and kissed it softly, which took me by surprise. He continued to kiss me, making his way up to my shoulders, which lead to my neck. It was a nice feeling, so I didn't feel the need to stop him. We began to kiss each other and make our way to the bed. He continued to kiss me as he let his hands roam to other places. It was starting to get intense, too intense for me to handle.

"Um, how about we watch some TV or something...?" I asked nervously, quickly getting up off the bed

"Did I do something wrong?" Riley asked.

I quickly shook my head. "No, not at all…it's just… I still don't feel comfortable with myself ….with the making out on the bed and stuff-it's just too much, you know?"

"I understand 100 %..." he answered, rising up from the bed. "How about we go for a ride?"

"a ride.? ..on your bike?" I asked puzzled.

He made a light laugh. "Yeah, you never rode on the handlebars of a bike before?"

"No. That's seems quite dangerous, actually"

He laughed again "You are so lame-As long as you hold on to the handle bars, you'll be fine"

I thought to myself silently that I could use some fresh air, so I decided to go along with the bike ride.

"Well, I'm not leaving the house like this. I look a mess" I said ,pointing down to my sweatpants. I walked towards my closet and looked back towards Riley. "I'll meet you down stairs after I get dressed"

*16 minutes later*

"I can't believe I'm going through with this" I mumbled to myself while taking a seat on the middle of Riley's handlebars. "Where are we going anyway?" I asked looking back towards him.

"You'll see when you get there." he responded. I could feel the bike beginning to move. I held on to the handlebars as tight as I could. It wasn't that bad as we continued to ride along. I could feel the wind hitting my face from the fast speed peddling of his bike. 20 minutes later, we finally came to a stop of a woodsy looking area. It had a lot of trees, the grass was really green and I could spot a lake from afar.

I continued to look around at the green scenery. "This is really beautiful, but why did you bring me here?" I asked as I hopped off the handlebars of his bike. I walked around, continuing to observe the nature that surrounded us.

"It's just a spot where I like to chill sometimes." He said, walking towards me.

I looked at him slightly strange, but more so confused. "No offense Riley, but I didn't think you would be the type to be at one with nature"

He laughed. "It's not that I'm at one with nature…I just like to relax here …and sometimes draw or write my.…poetry"

I raised an eyebrow. He had once again surprised me with his words. "I didn't know you were into poetry. Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Because…most of my friends would probably think I'm lame for doing shit like that, so I just keep it to myself." He said nervously, touching the back his neck.

I looked at him and smiled. "Can I hear some of your poems?"

He took his black booksack off his shoulder, unzipped it, and looked at me. "Just promise me you won't laugh" he said seriously.

"I would never." I replied. I watched him look through his bag for his poems.

He took out a sheet of paper with cursive writing. "I'll read it to you when we get to the lake"

A few minutes later, Riley led me to the lake that he sat by and collected his thoughts. I watched him as he sat down, looking at the sheet of paper silently.

"What's wrong?" I asked, glancing over at the paper.

He quickly folded the poem up. "I can't read this."

"Why not?"

"Because I just can't…alright?" he replied hostile.

I looked at him with an annoyed expression. I was slightly disgusted by the way he was acting. Once again, there was a quick change in his personality, going from sweet to sour in a matter of seconds.

I decided to quickly vent.

"I just don't understand boys...here I am opening up to you, letting you know all of my secrets and you can't even read me a poem?"

I looked at him confused, waiting for an answer. All of the sudden, the tables were turned. Riley quickly became the quiet and nervous person, scared to share his feelings.

"Maybe I should just go and give you some time to yourself" I said, getting up from the ground. I brushed off the few leaves that stuck to my clothes and began to walk off.

"Zoey, wait"

I stopped and looked back at him. He moved his hand forward, gesturing me to come sit back down. Of course, I turned back around and made my way over to him. The truth was I didn't want to leave, I was hoping he would stop me.

I sat down next to him. "Can you tell me what's really wrong?" I asked sincerely.

He was quiet for a few seconds, but finally spoke. "I know this may sound weird...but" he said, pausing for a moment. "I think I'm slowly changing into a totally different person"

"It doesn't sound weird at all. We all experience change sometime in our lives" I replied.

"But this change is different…I guess you can say that I've been putting on an act for my friends lately. It's like I don't even relate to them like I used to."

"What makes you feel like you don't relate to them anymore?" I asked curiously, hoping he wouldn't get too annoyed by my questions.

"It's just the whole gangster like mentality thing. I'm kind of getting over it and they're still stuck on it. I just feel like I'm moving on to better things like my art and my writing and if I was to tell them about it, they'll probably take me as a joke"

"Well, you shouldn't care what they think and if they feel you're not good enough to hang with, they were never your friends in the first place."

"Yeah, I guess you're right" he responded in a dreary voice.

I scooted a little closer to him and placed my hand on his shoulder "You'll still have me…" I whispered. He nodded his head agreeing and kissed me on my lips lightly.

"You still wanna hear my poem?" he asked.

I smiled "Of course"

He took the folded piece of paper out of his pocket and began to read.

_I am a drop of water, I am stagnant in this pool._

_Forever mingling with the countless others trapped within the walls of the shore._

_I long to flow, be free, run with the water in the rivers and streams. _

_I want to escape, and let the currents carry me to the ocean. _

_I want my dreams to be realized, _

_and I want all of the water to lose its bitter taste of salt. _

_I can't wait until the sun lifts me into the clouds,_

_where I can look down and see that I, just a single drop, contribute to this ocean._

A few seconds later, Riley turned his head towards me after reading, waiting for my response. I looked at him astonished by his way with words. "You're truly a diamond in the ruff" I whispered softly.

I started to realize as Riley was slowly beginning to figure me out, I was slowly beginning to figure him out as well. It began to make sense to me. Maybe Riley saw me as a target, a target to a fresh new start, not having to always hide his true self. With me, he didn't have to put on an act and that was the greatest thing about our relationship.

Riley brought me back home around 4:00 pm. I had advised him to go back home to avoid the chances of getting caught by my mother. Who knows, she could have gotten off from work early and I wasn't trying to take any chances. While in the house, I decided to go into the kitchen, a place I rarely tend to visit. I looked in the fridge for something to eat. I was in such a good mood that my eating disordered thoughts weren't taking over. They weren't telling me _not_ to eat this or that. I actually _**wanted**_ to eat and I **wanted** to get to better because I _**wanted**_ to live. I _**wanted**_ to live because I actually had something _**to live for**_ now. I finally had someone in my life that truly made me excited to see another the day.

::Riley Freeman::

It was a boring Sunday, so I decided to call Cindy and ask her to come over. We hadn't been hanging out as much as we used to since she's been busy with her so called boyfriend. I sat on the couch, leaned back, playing the PS3. Cindy sat next to me with her legs resting in my lap. I wasn't tripping off that though, I was too focused on beating her ass in a game of Madden Football.

"Fuckin right, another touch down" I teased, smiling in Cindy's face.

She looked at me and sucked her teeth. "Whatever, the game isn't over yet"

I laughed. "I have 33 points. You have 14… the game is basically over" I said bragging

She pressed the paused button and got up from the couch "Yeah, whatever. I have to take a piss…I'll be right back" she said, walking off.

"You're so fucking classy" I said sarcastically, laughing afterwards.

While I waited for Cindy to comeback, I decided to send Zoey a text and see what she was up to. 10 minutes had passed and I never got a reply back from her. I also was still waiting for Cindy to come back down to finish the game.

"What the hell is she doin up there?" I thought to myself. I decided to go upstairs and see what was taking her so long. As I went up the stairs and walked down the hall, I noticed the bathroom door open, no one was inside, so I went in my room and there she was, sitting down, using my computer.

"What are you looking at?" I asked, walking to the computer desk. I looked down at the screen and noticed she was on a website for Madden cheat codes.

"Seriously? You suck that bad, that you need cheat codes?" I asked, still glancing at the screen.

"As a matter of fact, I do." She responded carelessly. "but lets talk about something more important." She said, turning her body towards me. "Why were you on a page about 'how to prevent a person from cutting?'

"What are you talking about?" I asked

She clicked the history link that showed sites that I had previously visited. I watched her as she opened up the website page that dealt with cutting prevention.

"Maybe that'll freshen up your memory" she said, pointing to the computer screen.

"Why the hell are you going through my history in the first place?" I asked aggravated.

"I wasn't!" She shouted aggressively. "You left the fucking site open, making it visible for anyone to see, so if you want to be mad at somebody, be mad at yourself, alright?"

I became quiet for a moment, while Cindy was giving me a cold stare, as if she could just slap the fuck outta me at that very moment.

I couldn't believe I forgot to exit out of the cutters prevention website. The only reason I was on there was to try to find ways to help Zoey avoid hurting herself again. If granddad lazy ass wouldn't have kept calling me to do simple shit like grab the remote for him or turn off the light, I would have remembered, but I didn't. So, there I was, standing there with no excuse. She looked at me with her eye brow raised, waiting for an answer.

I finally decided to come up with a lie. "It's just an assignment for my class"

"What class?" she asked.

"The class that you don't have…" I responded annoyed.

"You're lying, Riley. I fucking know you, okay? I know you're hiding something and I know you wouldn't be on a cutting prevention site for no reason!"

"Just don't worry about it, alright? It's none of your business" I said, walking away from her.

"Well, as your friend and ex girlfriend, I think I deserve to know if you're cutting yourself…"

I looked back at her and laughed. "You think I'm the one who's cutting? Come on, Cindy, do I look like the type of nigga to cut myself?"

"Well, if it's not you, then —oh my gosh, wait a minute …It's your little demon girlfriend, Zoey… the teenage witch?"

She laughed afterwards, amused by her corny joke.

"There's nothing funny about this" I said solemnly.

"No, it isn't funny, but it sure is pathetic." She replied with a smirk on face.

I became even more agitated with her annoying remarks. "You know what Cindy, why don't you just leave? I shouldn't have asked you to come here"

Her smirk quickly faded. "Are you fucking serious? "She asked, rising from the computer chair. "I say one fucking comment about the girl and you get your panties in a bunch." She continued, walking over to me. Her face began to get red.

"What the hell is happening to you, Riley?—why are you being such a bitch all of sudden"

"Unlike you Cindy, I'm maturing and not taking everything as a fucking joke…you should try it"

"Fuck you, Riley. When you get the stick out of your ass, let me know." She said making her way out of my room. She slammed the door behind her.'

**Well, if you guys want more, just leave reviews because they're truly appreciated and let's me know that this story doesn't…suck.**

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	11. No Pressure

Hello guys, I appreciate every single review I have gotten. I know I said I would update recently, but I kind of got all depressed because I barely had reviews..and I'm the type of person that feels if people who read the story don't review it, then they must have not liked the chapter or it was really bad, so I try to think of something better-I'm so sensitive, but like I said, I have so many more chapters. It's only chapter 11. This story will be at least 40 chapters. I had to cut this chapter short, but I didn't forget about the other stuff I said was going to happen—I just don't want my chapter too long- sorry for rambling. Au Revoir.

* * *

><p>::Riley Freeman::<p>

I stood in front of my opened locker, placing my text books inside. I heard footsteps walking towards me and immediately turned to the side to get a good look at the person who was making their way down the hall. It was my friend Clyde. I barely saw him today, mainly because he was always cutting class.

"Wassup Riley?" Clyde said, continuing to walk over. He had a sly grin on his face.

"Nothing much, just trying to put these heavy ass books in my locker." I said nonchalantly. I placed another textbook in my locker and looked towards him. "Is there something you wanted?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Nah, I was just wondering why you weren't in the Cafeteria today…"

"I decided to chill in the Library with Zoey."

He gave me a weird a look. "…you still messing with that girl?"

"No, I'm not messing with her. I'm dating her; we're in a relationship"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever man…if that's what you're into…do you…..I guess"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked hostilely.

"Nothing man" He said pausing for a second. "I just think you could do better than some-"

"Hold up." I said, interrupting. "Whoever I want to date or talk to is my business—not yours, not Cindy, or anybody fucking else, alright?"

I closed my locker and walked away, disgusted by our short conversation. I was sick of hearing people opinions that I could care less about. The only opinion that mattered was mine.

* * *

><p>::Zoey Anderson::<p>

It was 1:55 in the afternoon and I had just finished my Art class. I decided to make a quick stop to the girls restroom. Just my luck, my pen had burst ink all into my hands. I walked into the restroom, looking down, disgusted by the black ink being inside of my palms and ended up bumping into someone. "Oh, sorry" I said beginning to look up. My face quickly turned displeased by this person's presence.

"Nice to see you again, Zoey…" Cindy said sarcastically. She was making her way out of the restroom as I was walking in.

"Yeah..sure" I said, making my way towards the sink. I turned the water on and started to rinse my hands, but seconds later realized she was still standing there. I looked over at her as she stood by the corner of the wall, watching me silently. "Can I help you?" I asked annoyed.

"No, I don't need any help, but you definitely need all of the help you can get" she said blatantly.

I continued washing my hands and looked at her confused. I was unsure by her words, but had a feeling she knew something that was none of her business.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

She gave me a sinister grin. "I mean, maybe you should get help about your little problem…you know? Cutting yourself?"

For some reason, my heart felt like it was about to sink. My breathing became heavy and I had no words to say. Cindy looked at me with her arms folded, waiting for me to say something. I took a few seconds to pull myself together and walked over to her.

"Did Riley tell you this?" I asked, trying to sound as calm as possible, but on the inside, I was screaming in rage.

"No, I found out on my own and that's all you need to know" She said, with an attitude.

"Look, Cindy…I know we're not very fond of each other, but let's just keep this between the three of us."

"The three of us?" She questioned.

I began to help her understand. "You, me and Ri—"

"Yeah I know who you mean" She quickly interrupted. "But that's the thing…there is no three of us. If you want your secret kept quiet, you'll stay away from Riley, okay?"

"Why are you doing this?" I asked. "Do you really think this is going to help your friendship with Riley?"

She rolled her eyes at me. "You're talking as if you've known Riley for years. Let's not forget who was here first. I was the one who was there for him before he even knew you existed"

I shook my head from side to side. "I can't believe you would stoop this low, Cindy."

"Look, do we have a deal or not?" She asked, ignoring my statement.

"No" I said, cutting my eyes. I began to walk pass her to make my way out of the door. She caused me to stop by touching my shoulder. I looked back at her, waiting for her to speak.

"Are really sure you want to make that choice? Do you really want the whole school knowing about your problem?"

I aggressively snapped back. "No! I don't want the whole school to know, but I refuse to sit back and be taken advantage of. So do what you have to do! Show Riley what a great friend you really are, I'm sure he'll just love this."

I looked at my watch. "I have to get to class. See you around" I said, quickly dismissing the conversation.

* * *

><p>Later on that evening, I had to deal with something even more dreadful, a doctor's appointment. I hated everything about them: the hospitals, the doctors, the nurses, the random strangers sitting next to you. I tried to haul off the visit to the doctor as long as I could, but my mother finally had enough and forced me to go. I wish I never went because I found out some things that I would rather be unknown.<p>

* * *

><p>7:46 AM on a Tuesday morning , my body is tired and weak. I can't get up from the bed even if I tried.. I could feel my mother shaking me, telling me to get up. I finally give in after she pulls the covers off of me.<p>

"Why aren't you out of bed yet? You should have been by the bus stop at 7:30." My mother lectured. I slowly sat up on the bed, my eyes barely open.

"Mom, I don't think I can go to school today. I swear I feel like I'm going to pass out." I moaned, hoping for the least bit of sympathy. The truth was that I really wasn't as sick as I claimed to be. Yes, I was tired and weak, but I still could manage to go to school. I just couldn't face the humiliation of Cindy possibly telling my secret. Just the thought of everybody knowing made my stomach turn.

"Mom, can I just please stay home today?" I begged.

She nodded her head, giving in. "Okay, fine. If you need anything, just call my cell or work number, alright?"

"Will do, mom" I responded, getting back into my bed. I pulled the covers over me, closing my eyes and waiting to hear the sound my door shut, letting me know that my mother was out of my room. When she finally walked out and closed the door behind her, I reached for my phone which was underneath my pillow. I wanted to text Riley and let him know that I wouldn't be at school today. After quickly sending my text, I placed my phone back underneath my pillow, rested my eyes and tried to fall back asleep. The sound of my phone vibrating disturbed me.

"That was a fast a reply" I mumbled to myself, grabbing my cell. Riley responded back with a text, asking why I wasn't going to school. I simply replied back, "I don't feel well". I couldn't tell him the truth, that I was just afraid to go to school because Cindy would tell my secret, causing it to spread like wild fire.

A minute later, my phone vibrated once again. Riley texted back; he wanted to know if my mother would be staying home with me. I began to text him and let him know that my mother was leaving for work at 8:30 AM. I had a feeling he was up to something, judging by his questions. I thought to myself that he'll probably come to visit me and of course I wouldn't mind his company.

3 hours later, I found myself bored with just watching TV. Nothing good came on during the day, so I ended up working on a drawing while sitting on my couch in the living room. I drew a portrait of a girl with long dark hair and cold black eyes that were lifeless and dull. She had no expression on her face, no personality. She was _nothing_. Seconds later, I heard 3 knocks on the door. I became a bit excited because I knew it would be Riley. I quickly hopped off the couch.

* * *

><p>::Riley Freeman::<p>

Zoey opened the door for me and I was shocked by the way she looked. Her arms were much thinner than before and her legs looked so fragile, as if they could break at any moment. I tried my hardest not to stare, so I quickly looked back up at her. She had a smile on her face, which I was happy to see. She didn't have those too often.

"So, you finally made it here…" She said, grinning.

"You were expecting me?" I asked.

She nodded her head. "Of course I was. You didn't ask about my mother leaving for no reason, right?" She said, grabbing my hand, leading me into the house.

I pulled her closer to me and kissed her. My hands traveled down to her waist. I could feel every single rib on her body. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable by talking about her weight, but it was getting a little hard to ignore. She pulled back away from me and looked at me with a disappointed expression.

"What's wrong?" I asked concerned.

She rolled her eyes. "You've been smoking haven't you?" She asked in a disgusted tone.

"…yeah…I have" I admitted.

"I could tell because your mouth tastes like an ashtray" She said, walking towards the couch. "Riley, why do you even smoke? Your lungs are going to be fucked by the time you're 25—and how do get these cigarettes in the first place?"

I walked over to her. "I pay my nigga Leon and he gets his cousin to get em for me, but I only smoke whenever I'm stressed and right now, I have a lot of shit that's on my mind."

"Like what?" she asked. I could tell by her tone, she didn't take my reason for smoking seriously.

I began to explain. "Well, I'm losing my friends one by one…and I'm falling for a girl who's slowly killing herself"

She became quiet for a few seconds and started to fidget with her fingers nervously.

"Riley…I told you I'm trying to get better"

"Oh, really? From the looks of it…you've gotten worse—are you even eating?"

"Of course I'm eating, Riley!" She responded aggressively. "I ate a salad yesterday and had some grapes."

I laughed at her sorry excuse of an answer. "Wow, that's great progress. Keep up the good work." I said sarcastically.

"Fuck you, Riley." Zoey said angrily, storming up stairs. I sighed heavily, regretting my sly remark. I could hear her door slam from downstairs. I guess I really pissed her off, but it wasn't intentional.

I noticed her cell phone lying on the coffee table. I decided to look through her contacts, which was only about 8 people. I scrolled down to her mother's number and put it my cell phone. I definitely was going to have a word with Zoey's mom, whether she liked it or not. I wouldn't be able to live with the fact of me not doing anything to help Zoey. I couldn't just watch her dig her own grave.

Afterwards, I decided it go upstairs and apologize. I could hear her crying through the door.

"Zoey…Can I come in?" I asked, leaning on the wall.

I didn't get a reply, so I walked in anyway and saw her sitting down on her bed. She was no longer crying, but tears stained her face. I walked over to the bed and took a seat next to her.

"I'm sorry about what I said... I just really want you to get better"

She looked down at the floor, not responding to me.

"I guess you're still mad at me." I muttered.

"No, I'm not mad at you and I don't blame you for your actions." She said, turning her head towards me. "I blame myself…I blame myself for being so stupid to think that someone could actually understand me."

"I do understand you, Zoey."

"… No, you don't, because if you did, you wouldn't make me feel bad for not eating enough. You make me feel as if I'm not trying hard enough to fight this disorder. You will never understand, unless you feel how it is to be in my shoes…to be in my skin."

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Zoey" I said, grabbing her hand.. I just really care about you and I don't want to see you like this."

She slipped her hands away from mine and got up from the bed. She walked towards her mirror, looking at herself sadly.

"See, that's the thing with eating disorders, Riley…you just never know when it's going to end, sometimes it never ends. I may get better physically, but mentally, the thoughts will always be there…"

She looked back towards me. "You have to accept the Reality of this Riley…if you can't…then this relationship will not work."

"I can accept Reality." I responded sternly.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yes…"

She took a deep breath before she began to speak again.

"Yesterday, I had to visit the doctor…I got on the scale and I weighed 96 pounds with a BMI of 15.5. The doctor diagnosed me with Anorexia, He also did some tests and x-rays. Basically my muscles are deteriorating – the muscles in my arms and legs are almost nonexistent, so my body is starving and feeding off the muscle from my heart and other organs to survive. If I continue this, I'll basically suffer from a high risk of heart failure in my early 20s…but from what the doctor told me, I'm already at risk."

The room became quiet for a while. I looked at her speechless as she looked at me with her arms folded like she was waiting for a response, but what are you suppose to say when you're given this kind of news?

"…..I….I don't know what to say" I responded dolefully.

"There's nothing to say, Riley. I just want you to stop treating me as if I don't want to get better. I heard my mother crying last night in her bedroom, asking God to help her child. Do you know how that makes me feel?"

"…..how does it make you feel?"

"It makes me feel terrible, Riley. I'm putting my mother through all of this stress and she doesn't deserve it. I want to be normal. I want to live to see at least the age of 30, but when you pressure me like this, it only makes things worse."

I rubbed the back of my neck, not really knowing what to say. I felt stupid after hearing Zoey's lecture about how hard it was for her to try to get better. I should've been more understanding, but for some reason, I still felt like I needed to help her. She was a beautiful person inside and out. I refused to see her dig a hole deeper and deeper.

"I promise I won't try to pressure you anymore, Zoey. I truly mean that." I stood up from the bed and walked towards her. I hugged her tightly and kissed her on her forehead, apologizing once again for my childish remark.

After I patched things up with Zoey, I made it back home, went upstairs to my room, and took a seat on the bed. It was 4:30 pm. Zoey's mother wouldn't be home until 10:30, so I had plenty of time to call her, but I just had to get this off my chest. Zoey said she didn't want me pressuring her, but she said nothing about pressuring her mom. I scrolled through my phone, searching for the number. I felt a bit nervous, but I wasn't changing my mind. I dialed the number and the phone began to ring.

A female voice answered. "Hello?"

_Okay guys, I'm stopping here- If you read this story and like it- leave reviews because they are appreciated and it gives me inspiration to keep adding on._


	12. Road To Recovery

**IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ**

**Hello guys, Thanks so much for the reviews. I appreciate them all. Also, sorry for the long absence. I really was dealing with a lot of stuff -super busy-but everything's cool now...and when I had time to work on this story, I kept changing the chapter and adding on more and more, which made the update process longer. So, forgive me if this chapter is too long because it has A LOOOT of dialogue, but I plan on adding more frequent chapters, but I will have to make them much shorter. The longer I make them, the more I hesitate to post them. If you forgot where the last chapter ended, I'll refresh your memory.**

**Riley Has an Argument with Cindy... & Clyde **

**Cindy Threatens Zoey with her dark secret.**

**Zoey is struggling with her eating habits, she looked like she was losing more weight.**

**Zoey and her cousin Jessica have a  not so great relationship. Jessica will be moving in with Zoey and her mom, but Zoey doesn't want her to move into her home.**

**Riley was concerned for Zoey's health, he felt worried and decided that he should call her mom (secretly of course..behind Zoey's back)**

**-and that's where we left off.-Forgive if for any typos. I was up at 3:00 in the morning trying to work on this. hopefully you guys will still read this. If you do , please leave reviews because they really let me know that people are actually reading my story, plus I enjoy reading them and they're VERY much appreciated.**

* * *

><p>As I heard the female voice answer, I began to pause again, thinking whether I should hang up or not. She answered again, saying "hello". I finally grasped the courage to speak.<p>

"…Is this Ms. Anderson?" I asked a bit nervous.

"Yes, who's calling?"

"It's Riley, Zoey's friend from school. I have to talk to you about something."

"Zoey gave you my number?" she asked, sounding aggravated.

"No, she doesn't know I have your number…and I don't want her to know. I wanted to talk about her _problem_. I can't help but notice her weight going lower and lower…and It seems like you're not doing anything about it."

"Excuse me?" Zoey's mother asked, sounding offended by my choice of words.

"No disrespect." I quickly added. "I just feel like you're not doing enough. You could try to be a little more aware, you know?"

"You're not Zoey's mother, are you?" She asked raising her voice.

"No, I'm not…but—"

"Exactly, you're not, so please don't insinuate that I'm not doing my job. You don't live in this house and you certainly don't know what the hell is going on with me and my daughter. As far as I know, you're on the outside, looking in."

"Well, I know a lot more than you think…A LOT more" I responded, sure of myself.

No words were spoken after that, just an awkward silence. I looked at my cell phone and realized she hung up on me. "Ain't that a bitch" I muttered to myself.

* * *

><p>::Zoey Anderson::<p>

It became close to the time that my mother usually made it home from work, I decided to go to the kitchen and grab a bowl to pour a small amount of cereal with milk. It was such a small amount, that it was barely an inch. I had to make up some type of scheme to fool my mother into thinking I actually ate something. I sat down at the table and waited for her to arrive. A few minutes later, I could hear her keys opening the door. By the time she walked inside, I grabbed my bowl and walked out of the kitchen, making my way over to her.

"Hey, mom" I said, taking a small bite of cereal.

"So, I see you already ate." She said eyeing my bowl.

I nodded my head. "Yeah, I just thought I'd eat some cereal, I wasn't even hungry, but I forced myself to eat it" I said proudly, telling a lie.

"Good." She responded in a dreary voice. "But what else did you eat?"

I lied once more. "I had a salad, an apple, and some oatmeal."

"Oh, really?" she asked, looking at me with disbelief.

I nodded my head again. "Yes, I really did"

"Can you walk into the kitchen for me?" She asked.

I gave her a weird look, but followed her command. "Sure." I said, walking back in the kitchen. She followed behind me. I stood there, looking around, feeling clueless as to what was going on.

"Mom, what is this about?" I asked

She ignored my question and walked to the cabinet, getting out the tall container of oatmeal. I then realized that I was busted. She walked over to me, opened the lid, and pointed inside.

"This oatmeal is nearly full. I bought it two weeks ago and you've been lying to me, telling me that you were eating this stuff. It was clearly a lie!"

I put my head down, feeling embarrassed. I had nothing to say. I looked back up and noticed her grabbing the box of cereal from the kitchen cabinet. She shook it and looked at me with disappointment.

"Once again, this box is nearly full." She said. "Did you think you could just get away with this? You told me you ate cereal yesterday and this box has been barely touched. So, I guess everything has been a lie, right?"

I looked at her speechless and shrugged my shoulders. She took a seat by the table and placed her hand on her head. Her face was absent of emotion.

"I'm sorry mom. I promise you, I will try to do better." I said, joining her at the table.

"This is all my fault" She responded. "If I wasn't so busy focusing on work, trying to work overtime, I would be able to pay more attention to you and make sure things like this wouldn't happen. I guess I fail as a mother…"

"Mom, don't say that about yourself. You're bound to make mistakes like any other human being"

"Well, I don't want to make any more mistakes." She said, wiping the tears that begun to run down her face. "I think the best thing for you to do… is to go inpatient."

"What? But why?" I asked

"We can find you a good clinic and get you the help you need."

I quickly got up from the table and backed away from her. "Mom, I told you... I'll do better, I don't need to go inpatient."

"I don't care what you think, Zoey. I'm doing what's best for you and the best thing is to go inpatient and get treatment."

"But...what about school? I can't just leave"

"They have schooling at recovery centers."

I looked at her and shook my head, disagreeing with her decision. I was so desperate, that I got on my knees with my hands in prayer mode "Please, don't do this, mom" I begged. I waited for her to answer, but she just looked at me silently and confused. Her leg was shaking and her eyes were watery.

She took a deep breath before speaking "I'm going to give you one more chance to prove yourself" My mother said sternly with her eyes intensely looking into mine. "If you make the slightest mistake, I will have an inpatient clinic on speed dial, do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand." I said, getting up off the floor.

"You want me cook to you some dinner?" She asked. I thought back to her mentioning me making the slightest mistake. This could be some kind of test. I would be a fool to refuse. My mind thought about the calories and unnecessary fat that I was about to endeavor and how my stomach would bloat like I was 7 months pregnant afterwards. I so badly wanted to refuse, but this was her game and I had to play by her rules.

"Yeah, I would love some" I said lying, of course, but she didn't care. As long it was the answer she wanted to hear, then, there would be no problems.

* * *

><p><strong>::Riley Freeman::<strong>

Me, Huey, and granddad all sat at the dinner table, Huey ate his vegetarian meal with no problems; Granddad was eating his steak and potatoes as if he was trying to win a race, while I sat their just moving my fork around in an unappetizing plate of food.

I pushed my plate away. "I think I'll just save this for another time…I'm not really hungry" I said, getting up from my chair.

Grandad looked at me strange. "Boy, something must be really wrong with you. You never turn down a meal"

"Well, right now I just have a lot on my mind" I said, walking off.

I made my way upstairs to my room and sat down on my bed, once again, I was thinking about her. This shit was crazy, no girl has ever been on my mind this much. I heard the door open a few minutes later. It was Huey; he walked over to the bed and sat down next to me.

"Aye man, what's going with you?" Huey asked.

"….nothing, I'm good"

"Come on, Riley, I know you too well. This is about Zoey, isn't it?"

I let out a deep sigh. "Yeah…I guess you think I'm sprung or some shit, huh?"

"No, you just really care about her….seems like you might even lov—"

I nudged his shoulder before letting him finish. "Lets not get too carried away, Nigga."

"What? You're scared to admit that you –"

I got off the bed and walked to the other side, covering my ears "I don't want to hear it...I don't want to talk about it, alright?"

"Yeah, I understand." He said, walking towards me. "You're just 14 and you're dealing with severe emotions that you don't know how to handle."

I laughed. "….so, you're a psychiatrist now?"

"You don't have to be a psychiatrist to see what's clear as glass." Huey said, walking towards the door.

"Where you goin?" I asked. I was kind of hoping he would stay, so we could talk a little more. He rarely had been hanging around the house these days.

"I'm going to Jazmine's place."

I gave him a sly grin. "So, I guess things been goin pretty good with you two, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess you can say that." He said nonchalantly.

I walked over to Huey and began digging in pockets. I had a feeling he was up to something.

"Man, what are you doing?" He asked, trying to push my hand away, but I was a little too fast. I grabbed three condoms that were connected to each other. I looked at Huey and laughed again. "I knew it! I knew you been smashin' Jazmine!"

He quickly snatched the condoms back from me. "Are you trying to let the whole neighborhood know?"

"My bad… my bad..So, when did you and Jazmine start fucking, though?"

He looked at his watch and opened the door. "I'm running late. I'll see you later"

"Whatever nigga...give me the details when you get back." I said, jokingly.

* * *

><p><strong>::Zoey Anderson::<strong>

After returning back to school, I was extremely paranoid. Every time someone laughed or whispered, I immediately assumed it was about me. I had only made it to my 2nd period and didn't know how much more of this paranoia I could take. Luckily, no one said anything to me in class. I was beginning to think I was in the clear. I walked out the classroom, feeling a little relieved, but still slightly conscious of others around me. I held on tightly to my books, continuing to make my way down the hall. All of a sudden, I felt a touch on the back of my shoulder. I stopped and slowly turned around, preparing myself for the worst. It was a girl from my World History class. She sat two seats across from me. I noticed she had some papers in her hand. I also took a brief moment to admire her taste in clothes. She was wearing a ACDC band shirt with distressed black jeans and a pair of 3 inch black creepers that were amazing. She had messy red hair that went well with her style. I snapped myself out of my thoughts as she handed me the papers.

"You're Zoey, right?" she asked.

I nodded my head. "What are these papers for?" I curiously asked.

"It's definitions. Ms. Kerrington forgot to give them to you. We also have a quiz on the first 50 words on Friday"

She began to walk away, but paused and turned back around. I noticed her looking at my shoes, which were _fake_ leather black doc martens.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention how much I love your docs"

I looked down at my shoes. "Thanks, I bought them online…a vegan store"

"So, you're vegan?" She asked.

"No, but I'm a vegetarian…I plan on being vegan someday."

A huge smile appeared on her face. "Well, that's awesome. I actually have a group and blog where we spread reality on the cruelty going on in farm factories."

"wow, that's…great" I said awkwardly, letting the words slip from my mouth. I was always awful making conversations with people I was unfamiliar with.

I noticed her getting a pen and small sheet of paper from her bag. I watched as she wrote quickly on the paper. "Here, take this" she said. This is my information for my blog. Take a look at it, read about it, and tell me if you would like to join."

"Thank you, I will definitely check it out." I said, receiving the paper.

We both went our separate ways, heading to our classes, but just that short moment, made me actually feel a small chance of hope of making more than just one friend in this school.

Later on during the day, after my fifth period class was over with, I decided to meet up with Riley by his locker. It was lunch time and as much as I wanted to hide out in the library, I promised my mother that I would actually make an effort to get better.

I leaned against the wall and watched him as he placed his books into his locker. His face looked very dull with no expression. I wondered to myself what was the reason for his somberness.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked.

"No, I'm fine." He responded casually.

"Are you sure? You don't seem like it.."

He looked at me as if he were annoyed with my questions. "YES.. Zoey, I said I'm fine"

He shut his locker door aggressively and looked towards me. "So, are we going to the library or what?" he asked in a bitter tone.

"You can go wherever you want. I'll be in the cafeteria, eating lunch by myself." I said walking off in a hurry. I sensed an attitude in his voice and I didn't appreciate it.

"Wait, hold up." Riley said.

I rolled my eyes and turned around. "What do you want? I don't have time for your mood swings today."

"Come here for a second." He commanded.

I folded my arms and made my way back to his locker. "What?"

"I just wanted you to know that I couldn't stop thinking about you last night. Today is just the same…I'm still worried for you and it makes me so mad that I can't do shit about it. I just really wanna help you, Zoey."

"Riley, trust me, I'll be fine." I said, rubbing his shoulder. "Plus, my mother has become surprisingly strict all of sudden. She says if I make one more mistake, she's sending me to a treatment center."

"….really?" he asked. "I guess she finally realizes how sick you are."

"You act like I'm a decaying skeleton or something.."

"Well you're pretty close to it." He responded, studying my frame.

I laughed nervously at his words, pretending as if they didn't bother me. "Can we just hurry up and get lunch?" I asked, quickly taking the subject off of my body.

"That's coo with me."

* * *

><p>As Riley and I walked into the cafeteria, It felt like déjà vu all over again. I instantly became nervous as soon as I noticed all of the students in the cafeteria, my heart felt like it was beating 170 beats per minute. I looked around and saw students in line, getting there lunch, something that I never done before at this school.<p>

"So…I guess…I should get my lunch now." I said unsure, still feeling a bit uneasy about eating this garbage cafeteria food.

"Just follow my lead and everything will be coo." Riley said.

I still was hesitant about eating in the cafeteria. Why couldn't I be a junior or a senior? At least they had privileges to go outside of campus to buy their food.

I followed behind Riley as he made his way to the line, where a bunch of hungry students waited anxiously for processed chemical filled food that lacked nutrition. I stared at the meals, contemplating which dish I would get. I looked over at Riley, who had no problem placing some fries, a burger, and a weird looking dessert on his tray.

Riley curiously looked over at my tray, which was still empty. "So, what are you going to get?" he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know…everything just looks nasty to me." I whined, still looking at the food with disgust. I could hear some students in the back of me complaining. An overweight boy who stood behind me kept sighing as if he were getting annoyed.

"Man, just hurry up and pick something!" The overweight boy said.

I ignored his comment and placed my hand towards a pre made salad. Riley lightly grabbed my arm and placed it back.

"Take your time, Zoey" Riley said, looking at the overweight boy.

"What the hell is your problem?" The hefty student asked Riley. "You do know people have to eat right?"

"Nigga, chill the fuck out. You gon get yo food, alright? …from the looks of it, yo ass getting well fed at home."

A few students laughed afterwards as the overweight boy looked humiliated.

"Riley, that's enough." I intervened. I was not trying to be the cause of an unnecessary fight. I quickly grabbed a salad and some fries.

"That's all you gettin?" Riley asked.

"Yes." I answered. "Now, can we please just move up? People are waiting"

* * *

><p>After getting our lunch, Riley and I sat at a small circular table in the cafeteria. I was actually able to spot his friends sitting at a table from the opposite side of the area. I took a small bite of one fry, held it in my hand, looked around the cafeteria and noticed Cindy looking in my direction.<p>

"What's wrong?" Riley asked.

"Don't turn around when I tell you this, but your friend Cindy is staring at us"

Of course, he didn't listen. He quickly turned his head around, looking back at her.

"Riley, I told you not to look." I said aggravated.

"I know, but she's trying to intimidate you. I ain't bout to let that happen."

I looked back up and noticed her walking over to us. "Oh, great, she's coming over" I said in a sarcastic manner.

She walked closer and stood next to Riley, placing her hand on his shoulder. "May I have a word with Zoey in private?"

Riley looked at me as if he wanted to be sure that I was okay with talking with Cindy in private. I told him it was fine. I watched Riley as he picked up his tray, got up from his chair and made his way to Cindy's table. I guess he wanted to make things right with his friends. I brought my attention back to Cindy. Her body language and overall demeanor seemed calm.

"I know you're tired of seeing my face." She joked as she took a seat in Riley's chair.

I made a light phony laugh. "So, what do you wanna talk about?" I asked.

"I just wanted to apologize about the other day. I realized that was immature of me. I didn't tell anyone about your secret either."

I paused for a few seconds, feeling a bit surprised by her apology. This was far from what I was expecting. I thought maybe she had a new evil plan to make my life even more miserable.

After getting lost in my thoughts for a few seconds, I finally snapped myself back to reality. "I accept your apology." I said, in a collected manner. "But what made you want to apologize?"

"Well, last night I had time to actually think about what I was doing and I realized that it's completely not worth it. The only reason I was clinging myself on to Riley was because I didn't want to let him go yet…even though I am dating someone else. It's hard to see someone you care about slowly vanish from you."

"Yeah, I know what you mean" I replied. Her response didn't make me think of an actual person, but of my eating disorder. For some reason I wanted to get better. I wanted to get over it, but yet, I was still attached, clinging on to something that was no good for me.

"Well, good luck with your relationship." Cindy said. "Dealing with Riley, I think you're going to need it."

I raised an eyebrow at her last statement. "Why is that?" I asked.

"Because he only cares about himself, he takes what he wants and afterwards, he could care less about you. That's what he did with me, but I only have myself to blame. I was stupid enough to believe that our relationship was actually legit at 13 years old…I believed it was so real, that I gave up my innocence for him…a lousy two minutes, which led to more lousy minutes of unsatisfying—"

I quickly interrupted. "Cindy, I don't understand where you're going with this…"

She laughed. "Oh, sorry...I just…I just got carried away, going back down memory lane." She said, turning back looking at Riley, who was still sitting at her table. She looked back towards me with a serious face. "Long story short…Riley told me how he cared about me so much, fucked me a couple of times, which was awful by the way and then broke up with me a few weeks later—why would you want to be with someone like that?—he's no good, Zoey."

"I understand how awful that was of him to do something like that, but the Riley I know, is nothing like that. He's sweet and caring. He wants the best for me."

"Zoey, Zoey, Zoey," Cindy said, shaking her head from side to side. " girl…you're so naïve—Don't you realize that those are his tactics?—he tells you how much he cares and once he gets what he wants, he will leave—I repeat, he WILL leave… and find a new girl."

I remained silent for a few seconds, looking off to the side. This whole discussion was making me feel awkward. "I think I had enough of this conversation, Cindy. I would like to finish my lunch, if you don't mind."

She sighed and got up from her chair. "Fine, but don't say I didn't try to help". She walked away from the table and made her way back to the opposite side. I was still baffled by her overall conversation with me. Was she really sincere with her words or was this some little game of hers that she found amusing?

Minutes later, Riley made his way back to the table. I took a few bites of my salad and fondled with my fork, moving the lettuce around.

"So, did you make up with your friend, Clyde?" I asked.

"Yeah, we good- everything's coo…so, what did you and Cindy talk about?"

"Nothing much, she just wanted to apologize for her behavior towards me."

"Really?" Riley asked surprised.

"Yeah, she just wanted to settle our differences." I said blandly,continuing to take small bites of my salad.

A suspicious look appeared on Riley's face. "That's not like her" he stated. "I bet you, she's up to something."

* * *

><p>Later on after school was over, I waited in the front of the building for my mother. She actually took off from work to pick me up for a visit to my therapist. I stood there for about 15 minutes and had yet to see her car. I continued to stand there quietly, checking my watch, until I felt the touch of someone grabbing me from my waist. I jumped from being startled. I turned around and realized it was Riley.<p>

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be going home?" I asked.

"I gotta wait for Huey. He has a student council meeting." He said with his arms still wrapped around me. I unreleased myself from him.

"I told you my mom is picking me up today. You're the last person she wants to see next to me."

"Oh, Really?" he asked, walking closer to me. "Well we're not at her house, we're at school and she can't do a thing about me being next to you."

"You sound very sure of yourself." I said flirtatiously.

"I am." He replied with a smirk on his face. I watched him as his body became closer to mine. I already knew what was about to happen; I knew that look he gave right before he would kiss me. He grabbed my face gently with both hands, bringing my face closer to his. We kissed intensely for a few minutes and once again he made feel like no one existed for that brief moment, but I eventually was brought back to reality by a loud outburst.

"Ohhh, Zoey, girl I aint know you had it like that!" some random girl shouted while walking pass with her friends. I looked back and gave a nervous laugh, feeling a bit embarrassed by what just happened. I suddenly realized that I had Biology II with those girls. They barely said a word to me in class; I was surprised they even knew my name.

I looked back at riley. "Well, that was embarrassing.." I said, taking a step away from him.

"Why? Because you got caught kissing?" He asked.

I nodded my head, still feeling embarrassed by what just happened. "PDA just makes me feel uncomfortable sometimes"

"PDA?" Riley asked with a confused look.

"Public Display of Affection"

"Well, you gotta be more like me and not give any fucks about what people think."

"Maybe I should." I mumbled. Seconds later, I could see my mother's car pulling up to the school. "But now is not the time to not give any fucks…" I said nervously.

As my mother made it to the front of the school, she rolled down the passenger seat window and gave me a stern look. Riley kindly waved, but she looked uncaring of his greeting and made a weak hand movement in return of his gesture. I walked over to the car to explain my case.

"Mom, before you even get angry, remember, you said I couldn't hangout with Riley OUTSIDE of school."

"It's fine, Zoey. Get in the car, I have to make a quick stop to your Aunt's house."

"Can you just bring me home first? You how I feel about Jessica. I don't want to go near her." I protested.

"No, I'm not bringing you home." She hissed with a slight attitude. "You know you have a therapy session for 5:00 and besides, she's your cousin, Zoey. You need to settle things with her if she's going to be living in our house."

I looked back at Riley, who stood in the back watching us from a distance. I waved goodbye and opened the car door.

"Wait!" Riley exclaimed, walking over to car. He bent down to reach my mother's car window. "Hey, Ms. Anderson"

"Hi, Randy" she said nonchalantly.

He laughed. "It's Riley.."

"Oh, right. Did you want something?" she asked, taking a glance at her watch..

"I was wondering if it would be okay if I could start hanging out with Zoey again…you know…outside of school? I really miss spending time with her."

She shook her head. "I don't think it's a good idea. Zoey doesn't have time for a boyfriend, she has to focus on getting healthy first."

I abruptly intruded. "But that's not fair, mom. Riley is just a friend and my only friend. I think I deserve to get out of the house and enjoy myself every once in a while."

My mother glanced at Riley and then back at me. "We'll talk about this later, Zoey. Now hurry up and get in the car." She demanded.

I looked towards Riley. "That means no." I whispered. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow." I got in the car and closed the door, giving Riley one last look. I could tell he was disappointed just as much as I was about my mother's answer.

The car ride to Aunt Vanessa's house was nothing but awkward silence. I sat there in the front seat with my arms folded, looking out the window. I guess my mom got tired of the silence between us and decided to spark up a conversation.

"What ever happened to that Bradley guy…the one who took you to the fair?"

I turned towards her. "So, you can remember his name? A guy you only met once, but Riley's name is so difficult for you to remember?"

"I guess it's because there's nothing memorable about him. Bradley was well tailored, such a handsome boy too. So, what happened to him?"

"It just didn't work out. We had nothing in common" I said irritated.

My mother laughed and glanced over at me for a few seconds. "If you have nothing in common with him, what in the world do you have in common with this Riley boy?"

"We're both into art...and poetry... and besides that, He's very caring, he listens to me and for a short moment, actually makes me feel like I'm worth something.."

"You shouldn't have to depend on a guy to make you feel worth something."

We both stopped talking after that sentence, mainly because I didn't feel a need to respond. My mother continued to drive as I drifted off into daydream mode. 12 minutes had passed and we finally made it to my Aunt's house. We arrived at their pretty two story home with perfect landscaping. The grass was emerald green and neatly trimmed, fresh flowers on each side of the pathway which lead to the door. She definitely had our house beat by a long shot.

Later on, after getting settled in the house and getting commented on how much weight I loss from my aunt, she directed me upstairs to Jessica's room. I stood there in the hallway quietly. I refused to knock on her door and come in contact with her. I took out my phone and looked around to make sure no one was coming upstairs. I was going to text Riley to relieve my boredom, but as I was beginning to type, I heard a door creek open. I quickly placed my phone behind me. It was Jessica, walking out of her room, standing there looking skinny as ever in some pink cotton shorts that showed off her lovely brown skin tone. Her hair was curly and styled in a ponytail. I stood there silently, looking clueless with a mind full of jealousy. She was everything I was not.

"I didn't know you were here…" Jessica said.

"Yeah..I was just…standing in the hallway." I said awkwardly.

She laughed. "Why?"

"Your mom told me to come up here to say Hi..I didn't want to disturb you."

I noticed Jessica silently looking at me for a few seconds. "You've lost major weight since the last time I saw you."

"…maybe a few pounds, but nothing much" I responded.

"No, really…you look SO skinny, like you're skinnier than me now."

I shook my head disagreeing with her. "Not really.."

"You must be blind if you think I'm skinnier than you." She said.

"Or maybe I'm just mentally ill" I said in a low tone.

A look of confusion appeared on her face. "What do you mean?"

"I mean...I starved myself to look like this and I'm still not satisfied."

She looked dumbfounded for a few seconds. "We need to talk." She said seriously. She walked into her bedroom and took a seat on the bed, which had about four fashion magazines lying around. I followed behind her and looked around the room. Her closet was open and filled with fancy clothes. She had pictures of runway models plastered on her wall. Her bed had a canopy over it, which gave it a royal vibe. She also had a full body mirror where I was able to see myself. I looked at my reflection for a few seconds, picking myself apart silently. Jessica took notice and decided to comment.

"What do you see when you look in the mirror?" she asked, still watching me as I stood there, studying my body.

"Why do you even care?" I asked, looking over at her.

"Because...I'm your cousin and I don't want to see you harm yourself like this."

"Oh, really? You are the main reason why I did this to myself." I snapped.

"….what?" She asked confused.

"You are the reason, Jessica." I answered in a stern voice. "You and all those other heartless idiots who teased me"

She continued to look baffled. "I don't understand how I'm at fault for you starving yourself…"

I sighed heavily, feeling a bit annoyed with her. Did she really erase all of those memories out of her head of her taunting me? Or was she really that stupid to actually think that teasing me about my weight would have no affect on me whatsoever?

I stopped standing by mirror and walked over to her. "So, you don't remember calling me fat, fat ass, fatty, chunky, whale? Should I continue on to refresh your memory some more?"

She looked at me upset. "Zoey…I'm sorry…I was a kid and kids say hurtful things sometimes."

"What about when you were 13?" I asked. You were a teenager and yet, you still made me feel like shit all of the time."

"Well, I'm sorry for hurting you like that Zoey, but I can't take it back."

"I just want to know… Why? Why did you do it?" I asked, trying to fight back tears. Just talking about the subject brought back bad memories.

She paused while fidgeting with her hands nervously "I did it because…I was jealous."

"Why in the world would you be jealous of me?" I asked annoyed.

Jessica had a brief moment of silence and then answered "Because you had a father in your life and I didn't. I just wanted to experience how it felt to have two parents in my life, instead of one. I guess my jealousy led to anger—and I took it out on you"

I turned away from her and walked over to a window in her room. I glanced out of the two story window, watching cars pass by.

"Trust me, having my father around for me was just like having no father at all." I said sadly, still gazing out the window to avoid eye contact.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"He basically was an alcoholic. He talked down on me and my mother all of the time. Being around him wasn't easy."

"But...he seemed so nice" Jessica responded.

I turned to look at her, still standing by the window. "That's because he put on an act in front of you and Aunt Vanessa, but trust me, when we went home, it was a different story…he was a very abusive person."

"….I don't know what to say." Jessica said, looking in disbelief.

"No need to say anything" I responded. "I'm just glad we could have this talk. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, you know?"

"I agree" She said smiling. "I'm sure we'll have a lot of time to catch up when I move in with you guys.

I nodded my head and smirked. "Yeah."

"Maybe this moving in thing won't be so bad after all" I silently thought to myself.

* * *

><p>After making it back home from therapy with my mom, I tried to quickly jog upstairs to my room. She stopped me in a matter of seconds. I didn't even make it to the second step.<p>

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked.

I pointed towards the stairs. "To my room…to do my homework…"

"You can do your homework after you eat. I made a plate for you in the kitchen."

"Awesome..." I said in a sarcastic tone. I made my way to the kitchen and noticed a big plate covered in foil. I turned back towards my mom, who was standing behind me, watching my every move.

"Take a seat" she ordered.

I sat down at the table, took a deep breath and peeled the foil off. A look of disgust appeared on my face after seeing a big glop of macaroni and cheese with a bunch of broccoli on the side. I didn't even like broccoli and the last time I had macaroni & cheese, I was in the 7th grade.

"…I can't eat this..it's just too much."

"How is it too much when you didn't take one bite?" she asked, slightly raising her voice.

"I mean mentally, this is too much for me. If I eat this…I'm going to hate myself for it."

She walked to the chair that stood across from me and sat down. "Zoey, I know that this isn't a walk in the park for you, but all I'm asking is for you to TRY? Can you do that for me?" she asked in soft sincere voice.

I decided to pick up the fork that was already on the plate. "…I guess I can try" I said

It took me 20 minutes to eat half of what was on the plate. I couldn't finish the rest, I honestly felt sick to my stomach. My mother knew I tried my best, she even said that I was able to hang with Riley if I wanted to on the weekend for making an effort.

* * *

><p>Later on, Friday evening, my cousin Jessica decided she would take me to the mall to go shopping. I was a bit hesitant to go since we barely talked to each other, but she said it would be a good way for us to make up for lost time. She was paying for it and I needed the clothes. It was the only way I could finally get a new wardrobe since my mother had been focusing on paying bills. I waited for Jessica outside because she mentioned on the phone that she was five minutes away. Five minutes quickly turned into 15 and later on to 20. I was about to walk back in the house and wait inside, since it was beginning to get cold outside; The mid December weather was starting to break in. As I turned to the door to make my way in the house, I heard a light horn blow. I looked back and saw Jessica in her black convertible beetle.<p>

"Sorry for being late." She shouted from the car.

I walked over to the beetle and got inside. "…it's fine" I said uncaringly. As usual Jessica was dressed as if she were going to a party, wearing high heels with a fancy top and some classy looking earrings dangling from her ears.

"So, we're just going to the mall, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, what mall do you want to go to?"

."Woodcrest Mall." I said, without hesitation.

"Why? Woodcrest is like 30 minutes away. Lakeside and Esplanade Mall are way closer."

"Yeah, but Woodcrest has better stuff." I lied casually. I honestly had no idea what Woodcrest Mall sold or had, but I did know it had a certain someone I wanted to see. It would be a great way for us to meet up.

"Fine, but if there's no good stuff, we're totally leaving." She said, putting her car in drive. I sensed her spoiled attitude starting to show again, but I guess she couldn't help herself. It's been that way since she was a kid. It seemed like the ride to the mall was longer than expected. Maybe it was because Jessica kept running her mouth about her private school and how hot the guys were. I couldn't get one word in even if I tried.

As we made it to the Woodcrest mall, I made a sigh of relief. "Oh, good, we're here." I said quickly getting out of the car. We both made our way inside. I glanced around as we continued to walk casually.

"So, where do you wanna go first? Hot Topic? That seems like your style" she said, looking at my clothes.

I brushed off her statement. "No, I'm actually looking for something different. I want a different look…a fresh start."

Her eyes lit up with excitement. "Like a makeover?"

"Yeah."

"Oh my god, I live for this. I have like every issue of Vogue and Elle magazine. I stalk fashion blogs daily, can I help you with this, please?"

"…Yeah...sure"

"Well, let's get to it, then." She said beginning to move quickly.

I stopped her in her tracks. "Wait, I have to tell you something.."

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I kind of texted a friend to meet me over here…hope that's okay with you"

"As long as she's not annoying, then it shouldn't be a problem." She said, flipping her hand through her hair.

"Well, it's actually a HE and he won't be annoying, I promise."

She smiled after my last sentence. "Wait a minute…He? Is he just a friend or a REALLY REALLY good friend?"

I made a light laugh. "I guess you can say the 2nd one..."

"So, when will he be here?" she anxiously asked.

"He shouldn't be long. He lives in Woodcrest."

Her eyes lit up again. "Really? I guess he has Woodcrest money too, huh?"

"um…...I guess so" I said, shrugging my shoulders.

I could tell by Jessica's excitement that she was expecting something much more in her league, She was definitely in for a surprise.

* * *

><p>Since I told Jessica that a friend of mine would be joining us, we decided to wait by the food court area, so he could find us easily. While waiting, Jessica and I decided to get a cup of coffee. I sat at the table, stirring the cream and 0 calorie sugar in my cup of french roast while Jessica decided to stir up a conversation about my relationship.<p>

"So, what's his name and what's he like?" she asked.

"His name is Riley and…he's…I can't describe it, but he's quite a character"

I took a sip of my coffee, and looked forward, I immediately noticed Riley walking in my direction and smiled lightly. "There he is" I said to Jessica.

She turned her head quickly. "Where?"

"He's walking right towards you."

"I can't see him" she said, lifting herself higher off the seat to get a better glance. "Is he behind the thuggish looking guy with the black the hoodie on?"

I ignored her as I saw Riley getting closer and closer. He finally came towards our table and kissed me lightly on the lips.

"Hope I wasn't too late, I missed the first bus." He said, running his fingers through my hair, like he usually does.

"You catch the bus?" Jessica asked repulsed

Riley turned towards Jessica, who had a confused look on her face. "Yeah, I don't have a car and my bike has a flat. I'm Riley, by the way."

He greeted her, reaching out his hand to give her a handshake. She shook his hand carelessly. I could tell by her body language and facial expressions that she wasn't impressed.

"Is this the one from Woodcrest?" Jessica asked.

"I'm from Chicago, actually." Riley said. "We moved here when I was 8."

"Well, that figures…You definitely don't look like a Woodcrest resident." Jessica responded, eyeing his baggy clothing.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Riley said.

I, myself, began to get a little annoyed with Jessica sly rude comments. I didn't want the conversation between them to go any further, so I grabbed my cup of coffee and got up from my seat.

"So, are you ready to go shop?" I asked.

"Yeah" Jessica and Riley both replied at the same time.

Jessica looked at Riley irritated. "I think she was talking to me."

"No, actually she was talking to—"

"Okay, look, I was talking to the both of you, can we just go somewhere and look for clothes, please?"

"Fine" Jessica said. "Let's head over to J crew."

* * *

><p>Walking into J Crew was so odd, the clothing inside, was far from my style, but I guess that was the whole purpose of this shopping trip, to try something different. It didn't take Jessica long to pick out something for me. We headed over to an area full of shirts that looked pretty basic in my opinion, but the price tags told me otherwise.<p>

"115 dollars for a shirt?" I asked looking at Jessica, who had already picked up 6 shirts for me,

"Not just any shirt." Jessica said. "J Crew is all about quality…besides, I told you I'm paying for you, my treat."

"Yeah, but the clothes are just so expensive..I walked passed a sweater that cost 300 dollars."

Riley decided to cut in the conversation. "You know, Cindy shops at Forever 21, she say the clothes are really cheap there." Riley added.

I looked at Jessica for a response, but all she did was look even more irritated with Riley's suggestion.

"Can you just not talk? " Jessica asked, referring to Riley.

"I'll do even better, I'll just wait outside the store…"

"Okay, that'll be great." She responded with a fake smile.

I watched Riley walk out of the store looking upset. I turned back towards Jessica.

"You didn't have to talk to him like that." I said sternly.

"Sorry, but he was in the way. I wouldn't have said he could come if I knew he was going to look like a gang member or something-and he's like 12 years late for a hair cut. Zoey, you can do so much better, seriously, the guys at Sacred Heart Academy are so much hotter."

"You're doing it again" I said annoyed.

"Doing what?" Jessica questioned.

"Judging me! Since you can't call me fat anymore, now you're trying to bring me down about my own boyfriend"

"No..I didn't…I wasn't trying to—I just can't help it, I guess. I just think you deserve better."

"How do you know what I deserve? You barely know me and you definitely don't know Riley. Don't be so quick to judge, that's all I'm saying."

Jessica stood there with a bunch clothes in her hands and a remorseful face. "I'm sorry Zoey. I'll try to do my best to accept your….boyfriend…...can we continue shopping now?"

"Yeah, sure, but I should probably check on Riley first."

I left J Crew and saw Riley sitting on a bench that wasn't too far away from the store. He was listening to his Ipod. He took his earphones out when he noticed me walking over. I sat next to him.

"Yall done already?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No, I just came to check on you. I hope she didn't hurt your feelings."

He laughed. "Hurt my feelings?" he asked. "Nah, I just had to get outta there before I cursed her ass out."

I chuckled. "I'm sorry for texting you to meet me here. I should have just waited until Saturday, so we could be alone."

"Nah, It's coo…It lets me know that you're thinking about me."

"...Do you think about me as much as I think about you?" I asked.

"Always." He said, leaning in to kiss me. As we were about to kiss, the loud sound of Jessica calling my name, brought our short romance to a halt.

I sighed and looked towards her. "Yeah?"

"I need you to get over here ASAP, I found some amazing jeans for you."

"Okay. I'll be there in a second" I said. I brought my attention back to Riley. "Are you sure you don't wanna come back inside?" I asked

"Actually, I think I'm gonna just…walk around the mall. Text me when you're done shopping."

"So, basically…you coming here was a waste of your time." I said disappointed.

"Of course not, seeing you could never be a waste of time, whether it's for 2 minutes or 2 seconds." He said. I smiled at his kind hearted words. If only my mother could see this side of him, then she would be crazy about him as well. I heard my name being called once again by Jessica, causing me to shorten our conversation.

"Looks like I better get back inside." I kissed him on the cheek. "See you when I'm done" I said beginning to get up from the bench.

"Hold up." Riley said. "That was a weak ass kiss…I need a do-over." he said pulling me back.

I laughed and kissed his lips softly. "That's all you get for today" I said playfully.

"You gotta make up for that on Saturday." He replied.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, after returning back to the store with Jessica, She ended up picking out a bunch of stuff for me to try on, ranging from chic shirts to jeans to dresses and skirts in all colors. Jessica waited for me while I stood in the dressing room, trying things on. She was right by the door, running her mouth telling me about the latest fashion trends and how she's going to make me a fashionista, which I doubted very seriously.<p>

I tried on a pair of size zero jeans and to my surprise, they felt tighter than usual. Size zeros were always loose on me and now they fit a little snug. Could I have gained weight that quickly or was it just my diseased mind playing tricks on me? I mean, I wanted to get healthy and gain a few pounds, but not this fast.

After finishing shopping with Jessica, our hands were full bags that were filled with clothes from J Crew, Guess, and Michael Kors. We sat at the bench that was near the entrance of the mall and waited for Riley. We had small talk for a few minutes, later on we noticed Riley walking towards us, but I immediately noticed a small gold bag in his hand.

"What do you have there?" I asked pointing towards his bag.

"Just a little something I bought for you."

"Well, let me see it." I said excitedly, reaching my hand out.

He moved his hand, placing the bag out of my reach. "I can't show you just yet."

"Well…can I get a hint or something?" I asked, my eyes still glued to the small bag.

He shook his head and grinned. "That's for me to know and you to find out."

* * *

><p>After returning home from spending some time with Riley and Jessica, my mom insisted on me helping her with dinner. I wasn't really complaining since it wasn't that bad, grilled tofu and spinach lasagna seemed like a healthy meal. I sat at the table, watching my mother as she cooked the tofu. I had no choice since she refused to let me leave the kitchen until I was done eating.<p>

"So, where do you plan on going tomorrow with you know who?" My mother asked

"We might go to the movies or something."

"So, who's going to bring you?"

"His brother…" I replied.

"And How old is his brother?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes since her back was turned. She was doing it again, the annoying 21 questions.

"His brother is 16 years old and he has a license."

"I don't understand. Why can't one of his parents bring you guys to the movies?"

"Well, his parents are deceased. He lost them at a very young age."

"So, who's the guardian?" She asked, continuing to cook on the stove.

"He lives with his grandfather who's fairly old-He doesn't like driving much..sooo…I guess that's why Huey brings Riley everywhere."

"Hmph.."

"What's that's supposed to mean?" I asked.

"…What?"

"You said hmph…why did you say that?"

"Well, now that you mentioned him having no parents, I can understand why he is the way he is…he had no guidance throughout his childhood."

"That's quite a bold statement for someone you barely know." I said, waiting for her to respond.

But my mother didn't respond back, just continued to cook dinner. I sat at the table, silently thinking to myself about her statements. I didn't know how much more of her ignorance I could take. I felt a confrontation coming on sooner or later.

* * *

><p>The Date<p>

Luckily, I chose not to get too dressed up for my date with Riley. A date to the movies was changed to a casual day of hanging out at his house. I wore some of the new clothes Jessica had bought for me, which were dark blue skinny jeans, a long sleeve sheer white chiffon shirt with Jeffrey Campbell lita boots. It was nothing outrageous, but definitely a change from wearing black all the time. I laid on his bed, looking through a sketchpad of his. It had a bunch of drawings, mostly of rappers, guns, violence related things, but his drawing skills were extraordinary. I looked over at Riley as he reached for something in his dresser drawer. I noticed him putting something in his pocket. I brushed it off and paid it no mind, continuing to flip through pages of his sketchpad.

"Riley, you have so much talent. People at school really underestimate you. I think you have so much potential to go outside your limits. There's so much to draw other than rappers…and guns"

He laughed and joined me on the bed. "Yeah, I know. I did those drawings months ago. I guess it's time I start fresh."

"Exactly" I said.

"You should let me draw you."

"There's much better things to draw than me." I responded insecurely.

"What is it going to take for you to see how beautiful you are?" he asked.

"A miracle" I replied in a vapid tone.

"You're beautiful inside and out." He said, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a tiny little box. "I wanted to give this to you yesterday, but I wanted us to be alone."

I sat up to get a better glance as he opened the box. I thought maybe it was a cute pair of earrings, but to my surprise, it was a lovely gold ring with a small diamond. I didn't know if it was real or not and I didn't care. Just the thought of him of doing this made my heart smile.

He took out the ring, bringing it to my hands. As he slid the ring on my finger, he looked into my eyes. His face was covered with compassion.

"I may not be that good at explaining my feelings, but actions do speak louder than words, right?"

"You don't have to say anything." I glanced at the ring on my finger and smiled. "l love it." I said, kissing him softly. Softly soon turned to more passionate, filled with a bunch of emotions running through my mind. How could a 15 year old girl feel so strongly about someone? Was I ….in love? Whatever the feeling was, It was euphoric and I enjoyed every minute of it.

* * *

><p>When I returned home from my date with Riley, I saw mother sitting on the couch. She immediately turned towards me when she heard me walk through the door.<p>

"So, how was your date?" She asked playfully.

I smiled, walking over to the couch. "It was good.…actually...it was great." I said sitting down next to her.

"So, what movie did you two see?"

I hesitated a bit, not knowing whether I wanted to tell the truth or not, but I decided to be honest. "Actually the movie we wanted to see was sold out, so we hung out at his house."

Her face turned from playful to serious. "You hung out at his house? Why didn't you ask me first?"

"..I …I thought you would be cool with it. What's the problem?"

"The problem is that he's a 14 year old boy with raging hormones."

I shook my head. "It's not like that with us. Riley and I have something…something special."

She put her hand over her face as if the whole conversation was beginning to irritate her. "Oh, god, Give me a break. You're 15, Zoey."

"I may be 15, mom, but I know what I'm feeling. I admit I was a bit confused in the beginning, but my emotions couldn't be any clearer now."

"But what are his emotions?" My mother asked. "He may like you at the moment, but you have to be sure that his intentions are good-how do you know that his intentions are genuine?"."

"It's like you're doing your best to ignore the TRUE side of him. Do you really think that he would stick around and be bothered with a girl who starves, cuts, and hates herself. I'm a freaking disaster and he still wants to be with me. I know it's hard to believe, but he sees something beautiful inside of me…I don't why—but he does—and for you to constantly dismiss that, makes me really question if you really care about me being happy?"

"What?" my mother asked angry, getting off the couch. "Of course, I care about you being happy, Zoey, I want what's best for you."

"Okay, so, let me be happy. Stop trying to control every single part of my life!"

I got off the couch and rushed up the stairs, once again a good day has been ruined because of unnecessary drama. I went in the bathroom and locked the door behind me. Tears began to run down my face. It wasn't just because of our argument, but dealing with everything combined was taking a toll on me. I opened the medicine cabinet and looked for something sharp. I searched and searched, finally spotting a small pair of scissors that my mom kept for trimming her hair. I grabbed them, I took a deep a breath as tears continued to roll down my cheeks, I bit my lip, feeling a bit unsure whether I wanted to do this or not, unfortunately, my negative outweighed the positive. I sat down on the floor, rolled up my sleeve and brought the small scissors to my arm, for some reason I was still skeptical about doing this. Even though I wanted to cut so badly, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I exhaled deeply, feeling hopeless, lost, and confused. "When was this going to end?" I thought to myself. I sat inside the bathroom for 3 hours, drowning in my thoughts. My mother came upstairs to check on me, I lied and told her I was taking a bath, trying to calm my nerves.

* * *

><p>The next day, around 12:00 on a Sunday afternoon, Riley and I sat in that beautiful area he brought me before with the gorgeous green trees. I needed to talk to someone desperately, someone who might have some kind of understanding of the way I was feeling. We both laid down on the grass near the lake. It was very serene, which was exactly what I needed to clear my thoughts. I looked above at the sky silently as Riley softly caressed me.<p>

"Riley, can I ask you a question?" I asked nervously.

"Yeah" he said.

"You have to promise you won't get mad…"

"I promise."

"What would you do…If you found out I killed myself?"

"What?" he asked, quickly letting go of me. He sat up and looked at me suspiciously. "Why would you ask something like that?"

I sighed. "You said you wouldn't get mad."

"I'm not!." He said, raising his voice.

"Yes, you are…"

"Well, that question was very unexpected…I hope you don't think about doing shit like that."

I looked down at the grass silently for a few seconds. "Sometimes it seems like the best thing."

"Killing yourself is just a cop out and it's selfish. Do you know how many people you would hurt if you did something like that?"

"It's not like that many people care about me anyways, so what's the big deal?" I asked, frustrated.

"The big deal is that I care about you, but I guess that doesn't mean much to you, huh?"

"….of course it does, Riley. My feelings for you are stronger than you can imagine."

"Then don't give up" he said grabbing my face gently. He looked at me with sincere eyes. "I know you can get through this."

I closed my eyes for a brief moment to hold back tears from falling. "I just want this to be over, Riley. I want to enjoy life…not fear it."

"Well, you have to do what it takes. Get help."

"But I have a therapist already…"

"I mean—you should go to a recovery clinic, stay there for a few months, so you can get healthy."

I shook my head silently. "I can't do that…I just…I can't."

"…You can't? Or you just won't…? " he asked. "How do you know what you're capable of, if you don't even try?"

"Recovery takes months Riley, if I go away…you won't see me for a while."

"Well, that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. I rather you leave for a few months to get healthy than to be with you everyday and watch you deteriorate into nothing."

I looked down at the grass, feeling ashamed of myself. I couldn't believe I had gotten in so deep. I took a few deep breaths to relax myself, If I was going to make this decision to actually get serious professional help, I had to be 100 percent sure.

I looked back towards Riley."If I do this recovery thing, just promise me that I won't be a memory." I said as my eyes began to water. "Who knows who you'll meet while I'm gone, you're the only friend I have; I can't lose you"

"Zoey, I could never do that." He said, placing his arm around me. "Believe it or not, you really helped in ways I would've never imagined."

"In what way?" I asked curiously.

"You helped me to not be scared to be my true self. I'm still Riley, you know. But I'm just not afraid to show my emotions with you. I can't do that with anyone else…. I've grown to have some really strong feelings for you."

I smiled softly while looking at him. "What kind of strong feelings?" I asked.

"Very strong." He replied.

I chuckled at his response, I wanted to pull those three simple, but yet, so strong words out of him.

"Well, I have very strong feelings for you, too. Extremely strong…"

He looked at me silently for a few seconds, but it was like I could read his eyes, they were so genuine. He pulled me closer to him and kissed me softly.

"I love You, Zoey."

Even though I waited to hear him tell me those three words for quite a while, it took a few seconds for me to take in what he had just said. I never in my life had someone other than a family member tell me they love me. It was a great feeling that words couldn't describe.. I placed my hand into his, letting our fingers interlock.

"I love you, too." I whispered softly.

At that moment, I knew I wanted to change. I truly wanted to recover.


End file.
